[s1993ks]

I have been with my partner for almost 2 years & a few months ago we moved into our first home together. I was aware of his cocaine addiction fairly early on in the relationship but didn’t realise how much it was consume our lives.

Earlier on in the relationship he would disappear all evening/night and I wouldn’t hear from him at all. He wouldn’t answer texts or phone calls. And then would tell me he was “sleeping”. He had told me at this point that he once had an addiction but was clean. I even defended him when he told me his parents thought he was relapsing. In the next couple of months I developed a close relationship with his mum & she broke down one evening and told me he is using & even after a 6 week stint in rehab (before we met) never really stopped.

She decided she couldn’t cope anymore or help him so she kicked him out of the house. I was so inlove that I allowed him to come move in with me. This was when I started to witness the extent of his addiction.. he would come home after disappearing for hours suffering from severe psychosis & would be frantically pacing the house for hours. To witness this absolutely tore me apart.

He refused rehab again because he claims if it didn’t work the first time that there’s no point. He started therapy but only had 3 sessions and said it wasn’t helping. I was at a loss.

He started exercising & really looking after himself after I told him I was at breaking & he was clean for 2 months. A house come up that we both loved & he said we should go for it ..

I expressed my concern about his addiction & he agreed that I’d be in full control of the finances so he wouldn’t have access to money for cocaine. We moved in. And for another month he was clean and doing well..

And then he relapsed. Id come home from work and sometimes he wouldn’t be home. Other times he would be pacing around the house due to psychosis.

His recently agreed to try therapy again. And up until last week was 5 weeks clean.

Can therapy alone really help him?! His never been abusive or horrible to me whilst using. He uses so much that I don’t think he even realises I’m there half the time.

I just need to know that I’m not in a never ending cycle. I need to know that therapy can help him beat this? 🙁

[smh1987]

Hello, I totally sympathise with your story, I am currently going through exactly the same with my partner and I’m at a total loss 🙁 I love him more than anything but I just don’t know where to start, he is the most loving person but this rules his life, he is in debt up to his eyeballs and just stays in that cycle, have you managed to find any support anywhere?? Sending you lots of support xx

[s1993ks]

It’s not a nice situation to be in when you love someone and want the best for them. I really do feel for you. I know exactly how you feel. Luckily I think (HOPE) my partner has realised he needs the help & things are improving. It’s not an easy road.

I haven’t found much support, no. 🙁

Xx

[smh1987]

Hi S1993ks

I just realised I didn’t reply to you, how are you getting on? My partner ran out on me 2 weeks ago after telling me he needed to deal it to get out of debt, I don’t see how this is possible when you have an addiction, I miss him terribly and worry of all the trouble he possibly is in, he let me down on my birthday and gave false promises and I eventually told him what I thought when he preferred to go out dealing in stead of seeing me and he hasn’t been in contact since, I hope you are doing well and things are better for you, did you manage to get any support? X

[libertas]

Cocaine addiction can be perpetual it takes great courage and mental strength to keep those demons at bay. Even after a remorseful binge, a reemergence will occur, convincing, plotting how to deal with the consequences, however the plan always fails resulting in remorse. There may be light at the end of the tunnel but when will this be and can it happen?. Are you going to let yourself loose years of your life on this uncertain journey? If you or him have the strength to live a life, free mind altering substances and be content with who you are without it, that’s the beginning of a life with a lot less stress. Cocaine brings out the worst in ones personality especially when deep in the binge. It makes you argue with yourself, lie to others, scam and hurt the people you love and eventually cause irreversible damage to health and relationships. I hope you make the decision to do what’s right for you and I hope your partner finds the power to be honest with himself and dig deep to pack it in.

[dot]

If he’s gonna stop he had to face demons and be true to himself. Took me to lose absolutely everything to stop and I’m clean. My ex wife gave me chance after chance and that wasn’t enough for me to stop.

Your husband will love you but it’s not enough for him to stop. My only experience is hitting rock bottom and that was enough for me to say no more i don’t want this life anymore and I did it.

22 attempts to quit before this one and this one is successful. I’ve accepted to myself that I have to have a drug free life forever and that I will never go through what I went through ever again. It’s just one of them things but getting off it was the biggest mountain I climbed in my life.

I won’t even have a bet and won’t engage in anything that is addictive.

You have to make a choice. He won’t come off it nor will anyone till they are completely ready themselves…

[Author]

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