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I’ve always done coke. I lost both parents to covid within a week of each over last year and have recently developed a serious addiction to cocaine that’s affecting my family life and work life and I feel I’m on the edge of losing everything or taking my own life

[jamesb]

Hi mate, I hope you’re okay.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

 

There hasn’t been a post on here I can relate to more than this.

 

I lost both my parents also, my mum 5 years ago to cancer and within a year my dad to a heart attack.

Just like you I always did a bit of gear but when my mum went is when it escalated.

I get it mate, nothing can take the pain away but cocaine will make. you numb, it’s like all of a sudden I was able to function again. But the problem was Monday morning would come and I was still heart broken, unable to function at work so what did I do? Started sniffing through out the day too. But that then brings its own problems. I detached myself from everyone, my Mrs my friends, because I was off my nut all the time. The money troubles then start, I had to lie to my Mrs about where money was going and why I had none. I would be late to work, or go to work, then disappear and sit in my van all day sniffing until the end of the day, nip back in to show face then leave.

 

I promise you from the bottom of my heart that the road.o ly gets darker and the pain you are masking now will only end up worse if you don’t face it head on.

I ended up seeing a bereavement councillor and it was the best thing I ever did.

 

Take strength from knowing they are still watching over you and use that to make them proud. There’s no winners in sniffing nothing good will ever come from it. I wish I could go back and deal with losing them differently because in the end I lost my Mrs my job everything.

If you need to talk about things about your parents, gear or anything I’m here for you and I have been through it myself so I understand.

 

Stay strong mate

 

James x

 

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