[bt1978]

Hey D

Thanks for sharing. There is alot in that post so forgive me if I’m all over the shop with what I write.

Firstly in my experience of being in recovery and interacting with addicts and alcoholics over many years there isn’t anything in there that I haven’t heard shared or seen before. This isn’t to lessen your problem mind as it’s clearly really affected you and your relationship in a major way but rather to let you know you are not alone here.

It’s clear reading this that your boyfriend has a problem. When taking it he cant moderate or stop when he wants to. That wont change or get better, its important to recognise that right away. Addicts will often have the delusion that they are in control or can stop when they want to, but that isn’t the case. The drugs will always prevail if you have an addictive mind and personality.

Regarding the other stuff going mention, and being married I’m going to be boundaries and not go into specific detail, I imagine that part of his addiction is a loss of control when using which is why that happened. Quite often people share about this – one thing leads to another and they end up hitting the “f-it” button – later regretting their actions. Often being in the throes of addiction it makes you do things that are shameful, regrettable and things you wouldn’t do otherwise. That’s why it’s such a horrible condition.

The good news is there is help, but it wont be easy and requires alot of effort. This might sound difficult but it’s far better than the destruction living life as an addict as it will eventually strip you of anything good.

There are a few things you could do right now if he is ready to tackle it

Call FRANK helpline to get some basic advice and identification

Check out the many NA meetings that are currently online. It may help him get identification with others in the same boat, they also have meetings on all day every day in zoom right now

Delete dealers names from phones

Self refer to GP to make sure there is no physical damage caused. I know cocaine users who suffered seizures.

Arrange drug counselling – this can be done privately or through the NHS

These are things that can be done right now. I note you said he has had quite a hard life and I imagine there will be something in that that’s causing him to self medicate- if he’s willing to reach out for help then it’s well worth seeing a counsellor as part of a recovery plan to address that and move on

Keep us posted

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