[bt1978]

Hi

OK the short but truthful answer is that in my experience, there is very little you can do to help someone that is in denial. That has to come from them, and not you or anyone else. Until they reach that point its check mate. This is really hard to accept and painful I know.

Do you think there is any chance at all that you can reason with her?

[mammavic]

Hi

Since I’m currently dead to her it’s doubtful. She currently has a loose relationship with the truth and vehemently denies using coke, even when presented with evidence. I have run out of ideas of how to get through to her to be honest.

[bt1978]

I see what you mean.

Do you think it’s beneficial to keep her in contact so you have viability of what she is up to to some extent?

Most people need to hit rock bott. Before they contemplate straightening out

[mammavic]

She’s prepared to speak to my husband to a small extent, but it was her choice not to speak to me. I have been blocked by phone and social media, I emailed her and that when she said I was dead to her. I know it sounds selfish, but I’m exhausted by her and since my grandson is with his dad, I am not nattering about him.

I guess I have to wait for her to reach out to me. I hate this situation, my knowledge of drugs was zero before all this, I just want my daughter back and not the fractured family we have right now

[bt1978]

I’m sorry you have to go through this. What I wi say reading what you wrote is that you have both feet in the ground with what is going on, as horrible and painful as that is. Do you think getting some support for you would help?

If you have any questions about addiction or drugs I can try to help as best as possible.

[mammavic]

I’ve read everything I can on the effects of Cocaine; And given her developing medical knowledge my daughter also knows what the risks are and what the long term affects are.

I just don’t understand why she’s so untruthful about it and won’t admit what she’s doing. Her lies are destroying our family, as well as lack of responsibility for the hurt she’s causing everyone who loves her.

[bt1978]

Inherently addicts are dishonest to the core. Part of it is selfishness, part of it is that we don’t want people knowing what we are up to as deep down its wrong and we are fu of shame and remorse. Even so, we don’t want family or friends knowing that. Denial is powerful, being in denial means you don’t have to face up to the hurt and damage you have caused

[mammavic]

I appreciate your frankness and honesty, it makes sense but also makes me realise that this is not a situation that’s going to change anytime soon either.

[bt1978]

It may, it may not. Just know though that it is possible to sort yourself out and recover, but the person has to be honest and accept they have a problem. Ses such an easy thing to say, the reality is very different.

Try to keep posting here. There are a ton of strong people on here and your situation will really help. Others too

[mammavic]

Thank you I will, this conversation has helped me more than you know. Best wishes

[Author]

Posts