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My daughter has been using coke for at least 2 years that I am aware of.
I’ve found the little bags, we’ve had mood swings, aggressive behaviour the next day, sleeping all day etc.
She is a student nurse, with a seven year old son, she is using when she’s been drinking and with the large group of friends who are also using.
She completely denies using now, even though I see her “gurning”, on 5 occasions post coke nights she’s phoned an ambulance thinking she’s having a heart attack due to chest pains. She regularly has panic attacks and these are much worse after her nights out.
My son has reported her to social services, after one post night out episode, witnessed by not just her son but his also.
She blackmailed me earlier this year, that if I accused her of using again, I wouldn’t see my grandson. After my son reporting her we’re all now “dead” to her. Her son is currently staying with his father, who aside from being a wet lettuce is a descent dad.
I’m tempted to wash my hands now and trust me, that is something I would never have said, I’d burn in a fire for my kids, but how can I help someone who won’t admit she needs help? Advice appreciated
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Hi
OK the short but truthful answer is that in my experience, there is very little you can do to help someone that is in denial. That has to come from them, and not you or anyone else. Until they reach that point its check mate. This is really hard to accept and painful I know.
Do you think there is any chance at all that you can reason with her?
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I see what you mean.
Do you think it’s beneficial to keep her in contact so you have viability of what she is up to to some extent?
Most people need to hit rock bott. Before they contemplate straightening out
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I’m sorry you have to go through this. What I wi say reading what you wrote is that you have both feet in the ground with what is going on, as horrible and painful as that is. Do you think getting some support for you would help?
If you have any questions about addiction or drugs I can try to help as best as possible.
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Inherently addicts are dishonest to the core. Part of it is selfishness, part of it is that we don’t want people knowing what we are up to as deep down its wrong and we are fu of shame and remorse. Even so, we don’t want family or friends knowing that. Denial is powerful, being in denial means you don’t have to face up to the hurt and damage you have caused
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It may, it may not. Just know though that it is possible to sort yourself out and recover, but the person has to be honest and accept they have a problem. Ses such an easy thing to say, the reality is very different.
Try to keep posting here. There are a ton of strong people on here and your situation will really help. Others too
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