[skittles]

I don’t know wat to do. My boyfriend of a year takes cocaine every 2nd night and it’s getting worse. He told me tonight he was taking more to piss me of. Every 2nd day I couldn’t b happier with him when he’s not drinkin r on drugs. Wat do I do. He won’t talk about it. Do I cut my losses and go or try wait and see.

[danman83]

Hiya skittles hope your OK.

I’ve joined cocaine anonymous to stop coke. And it helps me a lot. Im just busy at the mo. So can’t tell u my full story.

He’s not taking more to piss u off. He’s taking more because he’s addicted. If he’s taking it every other day he must be bad on it.

He needs to want to quit him self. U can’t force him. And he needs get to C. A and do some meetings. But I don’t know the inns and outs of your story.

If he has no intentions of stopping. He won’t. And will get worse, feeling depressed for days and suicidal then back using. One big vicious circle. If you don’t want to put up with that then id leave ASAP.. Feel free to ask me anything

[skittles]

Thank you I appreciate you getting bac to me. He said the other day he knows it’s ruining things and wants to give up. In between we get on great, he can go to work mostly. He can giv up sometimes like when we visited my family for a week, not a mention but the min we get bac to the city it’s started. He literally just takes it sits on couch and is mute and drinks himself senseless with it. I just don’t get why. its sad cos he’s so intelligent and could achieve anything. I’m a country girl who has never even been offered drugs so don’t get it but he’s been kind of brought up around the normality of havin a line r 2. I try not to get mad r judge but I don’t know wat to do. Thank u again

[mariaf]

Hi Skittles, firstly I’m so sorry your going through this. I can shake your hand and tell you I have been through the same ordeal. I was in your shoes 6 months ago. Endless nights, probably 3 or 4 out of 7, weekends on my own in our rented house staying up, exhausted tired trying to get him to go to bed, argument after argument, it was utter chaos. The days and nights that he didn’t touch coke were like heaven on earth in my mind everything was normal and these were the moments that I clung onto. However as time went on they got less and less. It took me so long to get my head around it but yes they cannot say no to more drugs when they are addicted. The drug becomes the third person in the relationship for so long until its simply them and it. I held on in this relationship for as long as I could, I didn’t want our relationship to end I pleaded with him to change, I tried many approaches to getting him help which I did but he wasted valuable professional help and lied blatantly to me about it. Numerous times I thought sure course he can change it ain’t that hard, but having read other people’s stories on the forum once I called it and we broke up, it is so true they only quit or change when they decide to themselves. It broke my heart and it still does that I had to walk away. I could do no more for him and he choose it over me in the long run. My advice is please take care of yourself, I lost myself trying to save him and I’m only steadily building myself back up. It’s far easier said than done though to walk away but it’s one big viscous cycle that will continue for as long as you let it. I’m sorry for being so straight about it. If I knew then what I know now and the months of lies, manipulation etc that goes with addiction that I went through I would have ran a mile but as they say its the ones we love most that we hurt the most. Please reach out also to family and friends it can be a very dark and lonely place trying your best to help someone and your not on your own in this. They know fine rightly what hurt they are causing but refuse to address it because they are in denial about the issue at hand and everyone and everything is the problem, but their ‘fine’ . Take care of yourself and please reach out.

[danman83]

Well he’s obviously addicted. You can use once a month and still be addicted. Alcohol and coke come hand in hand, the minute u have a few drinks your phoning a dealer.

If he never wants coke again he is going to have to quit alcohol as well. Or else it’s just gonna be a vicious circle. He needs to delete all dealers nums and friends who use. Or get a new number. Avoid pubs and mates. And start changing his life around. And maybe join cocaine anonymous and work the steps and go to a meeting. There could be underlying issues from his childhood why he uses, but doesn’t have to be the case.

When the coke wears off it sends you suicidal and depressed for days. It’s an awful drug. And ruins family’s. I’d make sure you see him putting the effort in. Or start thinking of your self.

[skittles]

I know all this but kinda needed someone to say it to me. I have just told him to leave tonight. I can’t do this. I have suggested everything, begged him to stop, tried every way and asked him how to help him but he still thinks it’s not a problem. He will ruin my life as well as his own and I know that sounds selfish but I don’t know what to do

[jinn54]

Hi guys .. just reading your posts and your story sounds identical to mine but unfortunately i have a baby to my cocaine addict and alcoholic partner .

So let me start by introducing my experience with him ..

Been in a relationship of 8 years with him where 4 years of that went without me having any knowledge of him taking cocaine. He hid it well from me . I always knew that he occasionally but very rarely drank Alcohol and he smoked cannabis on a regular basis daily.

As i was trying my best to stop him from drinking Alcohol he was a cocaine addict and has been a user since the age of 15 and he is now in his mid 30’s.

Cut the story short .. he will not change not for me not for his parents and hasn’t changed for his daughters sake .

If anything he has got worse .

He is a liar a cheat a manipulative scum bag and a total waste .

He becomes very violent aggressive and abusive which used to leave me questioning myself .

Financially it broke us apart .. he was spending too much to feed his habit and not giving money for bills etc .

So he snorts cocaine 2 days then 3rd & 4th has a rest and the cycle starts again.

Iv done everything in my power to help him and stop but nothing worked .

For short time he will apologise and promise not to do it again but it’s all lies to win me and my trust back .

Only solution to this is get rid of him .

[jinn54]

You will mess your own mental health up fixing him and he is not going to change unless he wants to .

Sorry but I’m being straight up with you.

He will be cheating on you talking to other women having sex etc then returning to you.

[jinn54]

Cocaine is very addictive . Don’t be fooled by the good days you have with him . Them days are most likely his days off the drugs .. rest day for him and his body so he needs support at that time because he is feeling depressed and is on a downer.

I have blocked my partner from everywhere from contacting me and iv got rid of him .

Best thing iv ever done . Now im at peace .

[Author]

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