- This topic has 6 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 1 month ago by rani123.
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July 31, 2019 at 8:50 am #5404z123Participant
My partner of 18 years cane Home last sept and told me he didn’t love me and was leaving me. Then he disclosed he had been using cocaine. He said he started taking it 8 years ago and been hammering it for past 3/4 years. He said he hadn’t met anyone else and he had never cheated on me. Anyway he then asked to come back saying his head was messed up and he did love me and asked me to help him get off drugs. I did take him back and I tried to help him with drugs but he came and went on 6 different occasions since last sept. 2 months ago he came home with make up on his top and when I confronted him he said this is working out, I came back and tried to get my feelings back for you but you do nothing for me and suggested we finish so he left and I packed all his stuff and away he went. 2 days later he told me he was back hammering cociane again and gave a lame excuse for make up being on his top and he was just getting photos taken with women in a pub. He then told me he only begged to come back and said that he did love me just to come back for kids and not me. He also told me he wanted the single life to take lots of gear.
He has also since disclosed other women. I called his bluff and told him that his friend told me he had messed me about and he said he knew who that friend was that told me because he’s only messed me about once and it was kissing two women on the same night (friends apparently) he told me this happened about 4 years ago and he was high on coke when he did it and that I was 10 times better looking than this women and he regretted it the next day. he still maintaining nothing else happened and that he’s never slept with anyone behind my back but he wasn’t sleeping with me but yet still maintained his down below area trimming his pubic hair. I’m not daft and I know he’s slept about behind my back with all sorts of women!
Anyway going through lawyers as I’ve stopped contact with kids until he gives a 6 month hair drug test to prove he’s off drugs as I told him my kids won’t be around drugs. He agreed then he turned on me giving me abuse acussing me of saying stuff to people so I changed my phone number so he couldn’t get it. He’s told me he hasn’t took for 2 month and went cold turkey as he’s always refused professional help in past. But the way he is still speaking to me and targeting me still suggests to me that he is still using or can this be because he has gone cold turkey but would he still be so vicious after two months? I know he’s mad he’s not seeing kids and one minute he tells me I’m right to keep kids away from him then the next he’s demanding to see them and at the end of the day he was the one that led a double life for 8 years taking drugs, lying to me and his kids and cheated on me yet I’m the bad one. He’s took car off us too then tried to give it back afterwards because he felt guilty but I told him where to go. He’s fighting for half the equity in house knowing that our plans all along were to go for a bigger house to give our son a bigger room but obviously that won’t happen now because I can’t afford on my own esp if he’s taking half the equity.
I’m also thinking of going for counselling because it has been one blow after another and I’m absolutely disgusted at the thought that he’s been with other women behind my back and came back to me and pretended to live this happy family life and sleeping with me too. He knows how I feel about lies and cheating as my own father done that and left for another women and my partner seen the devastation that caused and what it done to me and confidence, and he has just done the exact same thing!
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July 31, 2019 at 1:57 pm #13685rani123Participant
Really sorry to hear what you are going through and you have made a good decision not to be with him no more because it would have only got worse not better.
Yes cocaine makes you horny and you do end up cheating. Nothing new there and the user will have a 100 excuses for it and even blame you for it .
My ex husband is an addict ..he took cocaine alcohol and weed all together so I know what you are going through.
My ex husband took our family car away from me that was on finance in my name and refused to return it when we split . Even though it was him that was making the payments towards it. Still he took no other responsibility with the household bills and mortgage which again the house was mine before we got married so he just moved his lazy arse in my house..
I took loans out to help him and he never paid me back . I struggled financially emotionally mentally physically because of his drug use .
I couldn’t sleep at nights in the fear of losing my home (which I eventually was evicted)
But he did nothing to help instead he put himself and his drugs 1st and moved back in to his parents house .
You have no life living with a drug or alcohol addict .. they will always put that 1st .
Ignore his sorrys and his sob stories and block him out of your life and move on because you will be banging your head on a brick wall all your life with this man and your son doesn’t deserve this he needs you,
You need to take care of yourself to be able to be a good mother to your son.
Your husband ain’t going to leave his drugs unless he wants to himself .
You will be stuck all your life in this vicious cycle and you too will be dragged down with him if you stay.
I know how my ex husband would be sooo nasty to me soo evil use harsh words and even physically abuse me and do anything to get money off me … then later he would be sorry and sobbing to me and promise never to do it again but a few days later we would be in the same cycle again because he had an addiction.
I can go on and on and tell you more I don’t mind but I don’t want to bore you ..
Bottom line is get rid of him and stop worrying if he cheated on you or not …he ain’t worth stressing over . You deserve better and so does your son.
You have a bright future without him so go live your life and enjoy .. give him what is owing to him and move on .
Don’t ever look back again,
That’s my advice to you and I’m talking with experience.
I stuck by my ex husband 6 years . Trust me I did everything in my power to resolve this issue but it was one thing after the other …
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July 31, 2019 at 1:59 pm #13686rani123Participant
Best decision I ever made was to leave him .
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July 31, 2019 at 10:51 pm #13693scholes84Participant
By reading some of these posted dont believe this can help specially when I hear someone was 8 years old talking cocaine
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August 1, 2019 at 10:39 pm #13714rani123Participant
Lol
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August 1, 2019 at 10:40 pm #13715rani123Participant
8 years old ?
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