[hox-26]

I can understand how you feel. Angry, betrayed and humiliated I feel this every day. ‘Husband’ has destroyed our close families and I cannot forgive him for the hurt and pain he has caused all of us. The lies, the wasted money, the debt and worst of all his paranoia.

It is horrific what the dreaded stuff can do. I honestly thought it was a recreational drug and each to their own but it’s not, it affects us as well as the addicts. In fact more so. One day they are a loving husband next day a demon.

The trust is gone now.

[chelsie]

It’s like a bad nightmare you cannot believe it is happening to you and everyone around you like you say who is actually your ‘ husband ‘ , someone you loved and trusted could betray and hurt you and everyone close to you as a couple so badly and still continue to lie and manipulate around it – he still lied even when we had the evidence and now he is on the program is trying to get sympathy off others by saying he ‘tried to tell people what was a going on ‘ absolute lie he denied and blamed the whole way through !! And that he is ill and that he is not getting the support And sympathy he would get if he had ‘ cancer ‘ and not this illness – I’m sorry but I’ve known many cancer sufferers and not one of them has gone around stealing , lying , slandering and destroying people due to their illness !! I don’t know why addicts could be surprised not to get the same ‘ sympathy ‘ as people with terminal illnesses get – do they not understand the damage their behaviour has done across a sustained period of time ? So tragic

[hox-26]

I wish it was a nightmare but I used to awake every morning to this ‘living mare’ the feeling of sickness and dread. I couldn’t believe this could be happening to us.

The problem is cocaine takes over, it is their first thought. Imagine cocaine being chosen before you.

They will lie and manipulate. Even when I found out what was occurring he denied it, then he told me he was taking more than I thought. Then another day he told me he hadn’t had any for four years and he swore on his dads life, I kid you not. Swearing on his dads life was a sickener for me. I walked out the room as I had nothing to say. His dad has cancer and I know what he will say at a later date. That his dad is already dying so it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t have sworn on his mothers life. Monsterous behaviour.

He does try getting the sympathy off others because I won’t give him any. I’m pretty straight john bull and I don’t lie to folk.

‘Husband’ knew the risks of taking the stuff, he told me years ago about our mate being really ill with it. He also told me how he would hate to be seen sniffing the stuff as it was disgusting, his words not mine. It was his choice to go down that road, no one shoved it up his nose.

The only sympathy I have is for our families and our happy life which is lost.

[Author]

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