[debc]

Hi Jamie00785,

Welcome to the Forum.

You’ve done the hardest part by sharing your story on here, I hope you feel better for getting it off your chest.

There is lots of great advice on the Forum if you go through all the different sections.

There are on line zoom meetings that you could do, you don’t have to say anything, just listen, it might be a great help.

You’ve made the first move, it’s little steps, but just try and carry on, one day at a time.

Take care.

Dx

[notmyrealname]

Saw you comment on another post about your story so came for a read. It’s good you have put all your thoughts down and realised what’s gone wrong.

Have you both made a plan now of what you will each do to start making things better as it sounds that you were both involved in what’s been going on so it’s not just on you it’s the pair of you going to have to accept your part in it to move forward I think. You will need to work together if you’re staying together rather than just blaming yourself. I think the more you hang on to the guilty feelings the more likely you are to be doing the things you say you don’t want to do. It sounds like you have lots of good intentions to be a good man, you’ve made some wrong decisions but now you have the chance to make it right.

It sounds really positive that you’ve realised how it can affect your daughter and you have that to hold onto, to give you strength moving forward now. Although you say you feel alone you certainly are not, there are a lot of people in the same situation and lots of people on this forum who can chat to you and give you some help and advice or just to read your posts.

[paul0572]

Hiya Jamie , can you give me abit of insight to my girlfriends cocaine problem . Basically she’s been using for 2 years now , around about 3 to 5 grams per week . I basically told her family after 18 months of hell with her and she turned it round on me and our relationship and I’m just over protective and following her and crazy …which to be fair I was but only cos I was trying to stop her . We are in the process of selling our house now as she has to continue the lie that it’s our relationship to her family …even tho she admitted it all to my family and they know the truth ….just how hard is cocaine to get off especially when she got diagnosed with major depression and anxiety before she started taking it ?

[esta]

People have decades of heartache

Time is a healer

Give yourself a chance it will get better

Don’t feel disloyal people make there own choices

If your girlfriend wants to change she will but you have to be realistic and know that it may not happen

[notmyrealname]

Yes it does make the partner go crazy, if you removed the cocaine out of the situation (and deliberately omitted it from any stories as the addict usually does when they tell other people what’s happened) then your actions would probably seem controlling and irrational but once you find out about the cocaine it makes sense why you would try to take control as the person taking the cocaine makes your life go out of control and you have to try and get control back to fix the things they mess up. It’s a sad truth that you have probably had a lucky escape, but I know it’s hard for someone else to tell you, it’s something you have to realise yourself.

[Bayderertu]

Thank you for thinking about it!

[Author]

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