[sheree9hotmailcouk]

So alone . No one to talk to. My husband is a coke addict. It blights my life my happiness so much. I feel the only time he is nice to me is when he is on it. My stomach stops churning with anxiety for those 12-24 hours . Even though it makes him a stranger,some guy in our home . It’s the days after hatred , verbal aggression , the hateful vibes towards me. I know I’ll be crying a lot ,I try so hard not to.then finally days later he is kind of himself and has a a chink of positive energy but it just means he feels well enough to do it all over again. 25 years together young and grown up children. I read forums and realise the only chance of peace is to leave but I have no means to leave ,no family to turn to. Could not tell friends such a “dirty secret”. We are attached I guess and I have to resign to myself that this is my life. I have health ,wonderful children but il never have peace .

[2468]

I’m sorry you feel so alone you need to talk to someone and get some help for yourself . I know it’s not easy mine is my son he had been a nightmare for years he takes it sometimes smokes dope he not nice sometimes and i don’t see an end to it and that scares me too as I want my life he is 30 still at home as mental health problems so it goes on. Talk to someone ur not alone and it does help it affects the rest of the family too but as a wife and mother it’s not easy to walk away and people don’t understand unless they living it pls get some help for yourself

[sheree9hotmailcouk]

Thank you it is a comfort to talk to people going through similar. Sorry you are going through this with your son. At least Ican dare to dream I might be happier if I left my husband but you can’t leave your son and nor would you want to. I have 4 sons . Stay strong . Thank you for answering I have gained strength this morning from your reply 🙂

[sheree9hotmailcouk]

He done itThurdsy I don’t know if he even slept as he was all night in man cave type thing at the end of the garden.ge then worked hard all day yesterday. Today he is evil to me. It’s my boys 8th birthday ,his family coming for cake ceremony I’m so worried it will be ruined ,he will be horrid icy to me in front of everyone ,will I keep my composure . Why do I have to deal with this ridiculous dilemma in my life. I am so soft and easygoing . Crying xagain I’m so sick of crying .

[annew10]

Hi, I’ve just read your post and wanted to say that I am in the same situation as ur self. I can kind of manage when my other half is on the cocaine he’s kind, even nice for a few hours. It’s the days after he’s vial and nasty. I feel very alone too, with no one to talk to or anywhere to go. No one will understand this situation or why I’ve put up with it for so long. He makes promises to stop to sort things out for me and the kids but things never seem to get to that point. I just wanted to reach out and say I know exactly how you feel and your not alone. I also know I’d be happier if I left but I can’t, because I still have this tiny drop of hope he might sort it out. Do u think that’s stupid? Anyway I just want to let u know ur not on ur own.

[desperate]

Hi it’s so sad reading through all these posts. All going through some form of torture. The verbal abuse the worry etc. I do not know what to say as it never goes away. I wish we had a magic wand to make all these addictions disappear. I hope you all find some time to love yourselves as we all deserve it. Every day is a struggle to us all by the sounds of things. My heart goes out to you all god bless

[em28]

I can fully understand everything you are all going through. My partner is an alcoholic vodka makes him so verbally nasty agressive. I feel sick at the thought of coming home to him under the influence. He also turns to drugs when he slows drinking. Often heroin. Spends all our money. Leave me drowning in debt. Ive tried leaving. But its so hard to leave someone who has so many mood swings and is a ticking time bomb. He continuously blames me and everyone around him. Lies constantly. Its hell. Now hes saying hes sorting himself out. And i should believe in him. Its all things ive heard a thousand times before. It’s the loneiest thing ever being with someone whos addicted to anything. Because you will always come last to their addictions.

[desperate]

Hi Em 28. I also hear the same thing that they will sort themselves out. I am hoping and things have settled down. But maybe it’s the calm before the storm. Addiction always comes first. I don’t know what to say to anyone as all our circumstances are similar but what do we do? Walk away turn our back on them. What’s right and what’s wrong. You do get to the stage where enough is enough and you will know even that time comes. But it does make it hard when the real person comes out. It’s like there is a glimmer of hope still and that is what we all fight to save. I won’t give up helping my sons even though I had to remove one from the home. He is lots better than when he was at home. Only you know what you should do. But it does help to talk to others in the same predicament.

[buttonboy]

Hi Sheree9, my son has a cocaine habit (we found out in June) and has £1000s of debt. He recently joined CA and that seems to help, he goes back every week without us having to argue the issue. He has relapsed so many times but all we can do is hope and pray one day he will recover. It is devastating isn’t it. I hope it works out for you xx

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