I don’t think it’s selfish but it might not be forthcoming and where do you then go from there if he is unable to see your point of view and deliver what you need?
Have you sought out some counselling for yourself?
It sounds as if you have a lot to process and could do with some help in that respect.
Also worth bearing in mind that people change… even if mine ceases using, I could never stay with him. The addiction and his attitude towards me have broken any trust I have and I can’t imagine ever getting that back.