[mollie]

I have never posted on a site before.My story is my son is an addict who has been using drugs for the last 9 years the last 5years was crack and heroin anything he could get his hands on.He also has a mental illness which just adds to his problems as when he is unwell he will use dugs .The last 3 years he has been in rehab in and out.We have been to hell and back his drugs use took over my life and my families.I struggled on my own with him no father around.I have 2 more children one 10yrs .I always thought I was doing the right thing making sure he was fed looking after him picking him up taking him to appointments . everything was about him I had to make sure he was ok.It just became to much I was a nervous wreck struggling to function with work ,looking after my other children, just didn’t know where to turn.He is now in rehab again been in 4mths , and he looks so well.We haven’t had a lot of contact with him as the rehab want him to concentrate on his recovery,but I am struggling with this as I need to embrace how well he looks in recovery and knows he enjoys recovery but am so scared he will just relapse when he has finished his time at the rehab.We were very close as mother and son and his addiction I become part of the cycle with his addiction by him telling me what he was up to, what he was taking ,how he felt which most of the time was hell and he let me know it which then made me feel miserable which stopped me from getting on with my own life.I am now trying to rebuild our lives by getting involved in a family group which is helping.I feel sad and anxious all the time especially now as he only has 2mths left to do in the rehab and am just dreading him going back to using drugs.

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