[jess24]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years, we live together and he is an opiate user. He isn’t doing anything to try and get sober. I want to tell him he needs to move out but I just can’t seem to gain enough courage to actually do it. It’s been really hard these past two years and I just can’t take anymore mentally. I feel like I’m completely alone with how I feel because no one want to listen to me about it anymore because they all tell me I just need to leave him but I’m so afraid he is going to end up worse off if I do leave him. I know I can’t change him or make him get sober but I’m just really struggling right now with what I know should do for myself vs. worrying about him. I just absolutely cannot keep living this way. I’ve had a not so privileged life and it’s been one hell of a struggle getting to where I am and I feel like I can’t move forward with this inconsistency of having an addict for a partner. The saying is you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves and that’s were I feel like we are at but it’s so hard to break it off with him and tell him he has to move. He is really a good person, I’ve known him since 10th grade and he just developed this problem about 4yrs ago and no one even knew til I came around and realized the signs. I’m not a stranger to addiction my dad was an addict that struggled until the day he passed. I am just having a very hard time being able to do the things I know are best because I’m afraid he isn’t going to make it. I’m just very lost right now, I’m trying to make something substantial out of my life and it’s always a step backwards when living with an addict. I feel like I’m turning my back on him and that’s so messed up because he is always doing something deceitful to me. I’m drained completely. I also just got promoted at my job so even though that’s great it is more stress and with the stress going on at home I just feel like I’m going to snap. I don’t want that to happen and I need to take care of myself but it doesn’t seem to work out with him here. I don’t feel comfortable in my own home sometimes because of this situation. Anyways thank you all who took the time to read this, I hope it wasn’t to hard to follow.

[Author]

Posts