[vitaleyes]

Hi, I have never done anything like this before but wanted to give it a try.

I am an ex soldier who struggles with PTSD, throughout the last 7 years I have turned to drugs to get me through my down days.

Before I knew it I was addicted! Trying to kick a crack addiction has been the hardest thing I have had to do.

After lots of counselling and therapy I have managed to to kick the habit and was clean for nearly 2 years, but things have started to slip and I have found myself using on the odd occasion around once a month this has happened for the last 3 months now. The signs are there and I am struggling to understand it all.

Why is this happening ? And why can’t I control this better?

Has anyone else had this happen?

Am I still classed an addict if I use once a month?

Any advice would be great

Thanks

K

[mestre]

Im not a crack addict and no experience of that, but I understand that trying to crack addiction was the hardest thing you have had to do. I think it might still be addiction even if its only once a month. Sounds like you are still suffering with your PTSD and you sound like you are not happy about it.

Can you go back to your counselling or get some other help now before you slip to far back into addiction?.

[vitaleyes]

Thanks for your message, I have a therapist which I am in contact with on a 2 week basis for now.

I have recently just broken up with my partner. And my mum is terminal with cancer so I am thinking it’s them problems that are adding to the addiction cycle. The self maintenance part has been a struggle to be honest. But have to keep moving forward to be able to beat this

[mholmes]

The breakup and your mom’s cancer haven’t added to the addiction cycle. It’s how you handle & react to these problems that’s an issue. It’s so easy for us addicts to turn to alcohol and drugs when things get tough so we don’t feel pain, the coward’s way out. Let’s be honest, we don’t wanna do it the hard way.

[salzz]

Thanks for reply, I agree addiction is a lifetime battle however! cowardly I think is the wrong word to explain many people with addictions!! YES WE seem to turn to our habit as it becomes your life it becomes the main thing,then YOUR ONLY thing you have in your life, boredom, a way of life it become

[salzz]

Hiya I totally understand that craving just so underestimated I think after a while it’s not about the drug it’s about changing you lifestyle and routine I am so happy that I’m talking to someone that understands

[mestre]

I’m so sorry to hear about your break up and your mum having terminal cancer. Please Don’t go back to addiction. You have enough to deal with already and that will make your life much much worse for you in the long run. You really deserve better than that, dont you?

Can you spend more time with your mum? Time is precious just now. Make some happy days for her? For you both?

Keep on with moving forward for your future, and for her now .

[salzz]

Hi, I think talking to people that as experienced or is going the same, I totally understand,I’m looking for answers myself as the crack takes everything away from you, then you get the judgemental people that make it so much harder for you to try new different things, you’ve done brilliantly, I think talking to people who knows exactly what feelings urges that tiniest little thought that enters your head THEN BANG BEFORE YOU KNOW IT YOUR BACK TO SQUARE ONE KERP TALKING OPEN UP SOMETIMES THE LITTLEST SAYINGS OR CONVERSION CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING

[salzz]

Hiya I think you should be so proud of your self TALKING ON HERE AS GOT TO BE A HUGE POSITIVE STEP FOR YOU, ME PERSONALLY I’VE GOT SUCH A NICE WARM FEELING ABOUT TALKING TO PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTANDS

[mholmes]

You’re an addict even if you don’t use. It’s a lifetime challenge.

[salzz]

It’s learning how to live again, gaining confidence to meet new people, if we can somehow do that then we’ve got a massive fighting chance of happiness, SURELY WE ALL DESERVE THAT

[Author]

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