[desperate-daughter]

I found out about my dads cocaine problem around 7 years ago.

Before I had any knowledge of his problem I think he would have a go when in the pub with friends at the weekend or at parties. He had a very successful business and was life and soul of most get togethers.

He lost his mum and his business and that’s when his cocaine problem seemed to spiral.

He couldn’t go a day without taking cocaine, would do it anywhere, at home, at work, with or without drinking, got into thousands of pounds worth of debt, lied to and stole from family, became very untrustworthy and lost lots of friends along the way. It took over his life.

He has admitted on several occasions that he has a problem and that he will get help and then it seems to be brushed under the carpet because our family life has been so stressful the past few years, with one bit of aggravation after another.

You feel like he improves for a while and seem to see a change, then you start to notice the tell tale signs again and when you confront him he says that you’re Mad and that he hasn’t taken it for ages. We just constantly go round in circles.

He was in hospital 7 years ago with heart failure and although he denies it and doctors never picked up on it, I would say cocaine was the cause. He is very lucky to be alive.

I know that my dad is still a good person, he has always been an amazing dad and grandad and he has had a happy 30 year marriage to my mum, despite that last few dark years, we have always remained a very close family and have had lots of happy times, I just don’t know what to do or where to turn? How can you help someone who can’t help them self

[danman83]

Hiya, hope you are OK. I’m 40 days clean from coke now and I’m trying my hardest to quit. It’s not good seeing your dad like that, I know because I have done it to my kids. I really do hate the stuff and what it does to familys. It’s like having a devil on your shoulder.

Im Struggling today and know I can’t give up and go back how I was. I joined CA 40 days ago and my life has changed for the better and I’m a lot stronger, healthier and happier.

Does your dad want to quit?

He really does need to want to, because otherwise he will just keep using. Most addicts need to hit rock bottom. I’ve had a few. The 1 I had 40days ago was that I just felt down for 4days, suicidal, my heart was pounding none stop with anxiety. I’m only 37, when will it end I thought?.

Cocaine is literally everywhere in the UK now, you would be suprised who takes it. Just don’t ever try it. That’s my advice to any1.

What help has he tried getting? Tell him there are a lot of CA meetings online now through zoom. I go on one every day. I listen to addiction recovery stories on you tube and podcast, I’ve took up meditation and running. I feel so much happier. I just have no confidence in speaking in these meetings and I know it’s a big part of it.

Feel free to ask me anything. Just have a good quiet word with him tell him your worried and there is help out there. I’m sure you already have though, as you wouldn’t be here. But I hope it works out for you.

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