[faithmc]

Hello,

I’ve never spoken to anyone outside of my family and partner about my dad’s drinking, but i feel like i’m going crazy and just need some advice, or even for someone to just say “you’re not the only one who has experienced this”. My dad has been an alcoholic for several years now. I was the first one in the family to notice he was drinking quite heavily – every day, at first just a few cans, but then he’d come home with multipack cans and down them all at once, one after another. Then he’d stop off at the pub after work, neglecting to tell my mum, and coming home stinking of booze. Its slowly gotten worse, to the point where he drinks heavily every day of the week, including both before and after work. He’ll start drinking at 10am most days, potentially earlier although i’ve never seen it personally before then (though he does go and drink in secret in his greenhouse at the bottom of the garden). His drinking has torn our family apart – he is so verbally abusive to both me and my mum – and he has become physically abusive too. On my sister’s wedding day, he drank so heavily that he assaulted a 16 year old waiter, and nearly got arrested. On my other sister’s wedding day, he drank so heavily so early on in the day, that he passed out early in the night and missed the whole evening of the wedding. My sister was actually grateful for this, as it meant he didnt get into trouble. He’s also attempted to fight my sister before, the list goes on. Heres the thing: he cannot admit he has a drinking problem. He jokes about never wanting to be sober, and needing a drink all the time, but he has never seriously admitted he has a dependency. When i brought it up before, his response was “i hold down a well paying job, and all my bills are paid – how can i be an alcoholic if thats the case?”. I’m terrified that he is slowly killing himself, whilst destroying the family around him – i’ve already noticed my mum now drinks way more than she used to, and she joked before that she drinks more purely because she can’t cope with dad unless she’s on his level. I dont know what to do, or how to make him see that if he doesnt get help, this is bound to cause even more pain and trauma than it already has.

Thank you for listening, sorry that its so long.

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