[blackswan]

I’ve been with my husband for 5 years now. We have 3 kids together, one is from a previous relationship but he’s been there since she was 2. When I met him we did drink a lot together, but we’re young (25 & 26) so I thought we were just having fun. Well, come to learn later after he impregnated me with my middle child I realize he has a full blown issue. He would drink and drive, drink on the job, put his hands on me, cheat, lie, the list goes on. Now 3 kids deep and we’ve been playing this stupid cycle of him gettin clean by taking Antabuse for a couple weeks & then totally throwing all his progress away and drinking again. I am at an utter loss. I feel helpless and hopeless. I so desperately want to leave but I have nothing & nowhere to go. I am stuck. I’ve become crippling my depressed and suicidal. I don’t even know what to do anymore. His mental and sometimes physical abuse has destroyed me deeply as a person and I am just so tired. I’m typing this as he’s passed out drunk on my couch. Some advice would be really appreciated because I am so sad and lost.

Thank you.

[Author]

Posts