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Hi I am fifty year old mother of 25 year old son who has alcohol and drug problem he doesn’t work doesn’t claim benefits and I am struggling to keep it together he hounds me for money steals off me sells everything he can is aggressive to me but never hit me but I am so frightened that he will either kill himself or overdose it’s living hell at moment just don’t know what to do anymore all I do is work and cry !! Can’t afford to pay my rent or bills anymore I am desperate for some advise
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I recommend you call 111 – I’ve done the same with my son in a similar state. They were able to arrange for him to get help with his mental health, they can point you in the right direction in any case.
It’s the NHS non-emergency phone number.
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What drugs is he on jen? You in a really sticky situation because ive always said i will stand by my kids even if they are on drugs and help them. And never kick them out. But i dont know if i actually would. He must be bad if hes robbing off you. And your struggling paying your bills. Id sit him down and say it stops now u get the help you need you will help him through it. Or he needs to move out. You cant live like that anymore. Thats all advice i can give. But he has to admit his mistakes and want to quit.. you cant force some1 to quit. Them wanting to is a step in the right direction. Good luck
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My son is addicted to crack cocaine. He is now living back home but we have set boundries. One is never to give him money. We have learned that it does not help an addict to give him money. Its a very difficult decision to make but giving him money wont ease the situation for either of you. You have to find the strength somehow to say no to your son. I have found this helps us keep some control of our lives whilst going through this nightmare.
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Be strong jennifer.. if u keep bailing him out he is going to keep relying on me.. it sounds like he wants 40quid for another one. No one really beats someone up for 40quid. Well thats my opinion. I can see your at your wits end. But i really do think you need lay some ground rules now.. tell him just stay in with you for a month to clear his head. But you need nip this on the bud fast. And just tell him his on his last warning. And i know how u feel about the suicide. Ive said the same to my gf when ive been on it. And the next day i just thought of my kids and how horrible coke is.
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Hi Jennifer68 just want to say my heart goes out to you and your not pathetic.im 52 my son is 30 and a cocaine addict been were you are and still am in a way I’ve paid debts for years to hopefully stop beatings it didn’t help and I agree surely nobody would do it for the sake if £40 it’s a horrendous situation to be in but apparently I enabled my son to continue using you must say no and if he continues you must ask him to leave it took me a long time and i love my son very much but you must do it for your own sanity before you become I’ll stay strong it may get worse before it gets better..thinking of you xx
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You sound like how my mum use to be with me and ive realised how bad i was.
I couldnt even dream of asking my mum to bail me out for coke.. it sounds like you have done it before and hes basically taking the piss now. I know its hard and its your son, but you have to think of your self now and your health.
My coke habbit is once every month or 2 3 week.. only when i drink.. but my gf said she will leave me with the kids.. so thats its for me. I admitted it all to my mum asking her for help. And i think thats what he needs to do. That stuff is so addictive.. you get 1.. then another and another then u owe 120 by the end of the night. My advice is.. give him 1 last chance.. have a look a coke adiction and what steps to take..tell him he quits it or thats it… but thats up 2 u.. u do what you feel is the right decision
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Hi Jennifer. My son hadsaid many times that he didn’t want to live but thank God never attempted suicide. He has finally had enough and want to quit. He’s now in counselling. There is nothing you can do for ure son other than point him in the right direction when he’s ready to give up his addiction . The day will come when your son finally wants to stop so never give up hope.
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Hi all yes it’s a very expensive drug its evil its ruined my son’s life it’s been over 10 years of devastation hes done rehab lost his girlfriend/best friend of “all his adult life “he owns nothing sometimes not even a coat hes done the salvation army short prison spell .nothing bad as he is a lovely person”until the evil shit” hes now in a hostel but he can hopefully move forward to get a rented place we spent some time together at Christmas he was fab we had a lovely time I got my lovely boy back..let’s all keep our fingers crossed for our loved ones and hope they get through it xxx
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How did it go jennifer when you got home??
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Hi Jennifer,
I’m sorry to read your post and to hear how badly your son’s addictions are affecting you. You definitely are not pathetic, as what you are dealing with is very hard.
Maybe you would like to have some help for yourself. If so please contact us at The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that provides support for people ,like you, who have to deal with the impact of a family member’s addictions. We can pass you on to one of our experienced trained people who you could talk to and who would tell you what other help is available. Maybe that would help you not to feel so alone and help you to stay strong.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
Wishing you all the best.
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