Hi Karga
Are you saying there are recordings of him raping you that you don’t know about because you were drugged?
If so then hopefully he will go to jail for a very long time and you will be free of him
None of this is your fault in any way at all just as if he were a stranger to you it wouldn’t be you to blame
I am sending you massive cuddles and truly hope everything is as OK as it can ever be for you xxx