[kel1]

I absolutely think you have every right to feel exactly what you are feeling. Like anything, at first those feelings are intense, then gradually we begin as people to process them.

I’m so sorry you’ve been going through hell. Cocaine is literally the “devil drug”. Absolutely ruined my family and transformed my ex into something I don’t recognize, as you’re right it completely changes their personality.

Think it’s a fair move for her to go have some space at her father’s, and for you also to “breathe” and deal with everything that’s been going on, including your bereavement, which by the way I’m very sorry.

It sounds like you need to focus on you for a bit. If your daughter has given the coke up then that’s good, however she probably needs to take responsibility for everything that’s happened, and how she treated you and in time maybe she will.

You’ve kept her safe all her life and done your best so I’m sure she will come to her senses. She’s probably carrying some shame, guilt and embarrassment around with her which will highten her emotional state.

Might be worthwhile reading about the affects cocaine has on the brain. I learned alot – YouTube is a good place to start. It kind of explains the mood swings and changes in personality.

Al Anon is a good service also for families affected by substance misuse.

Best wishes and I’m here if you need to talk.

[Author]

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