[dfh]

Hi lemony, hope you are ok?

I can’t really give much help but will try my best. I’m on here on and off, think you know my situation. Husband addicted to opiates and crack.

I had a rant on here a while ago…had pretty much reached a point where I wanted to make it work but was reluctant to get dragged along on the roller coaster any further. Like you, middle of a house sale/purchase and he was unable to get a mortgage due to payday loans etc.

So, I pushed ahead with house and distanced myself from his behaviour. At first he threw it in my face in arguments but then he must have realised he was the problem. He reached out to his key worker who arranged detox and then rehab. He was that bad he used the night before detox. Since then, he has done detoc and went straight to rehab today in fact. It’s looking promising. I move house next friday and me and my kids are so much more relaxed.

My advice, press on with what you need to do. Distance from his behaviour but not him. He has to realise himself he needs help and only he can do that journey. Don’t carry his baggage by worrying. There’s little to nothing you can do for him any way and only you will ultimately lose out. Be strong, supportive and there for him but distance yourself from the harmful side of it.

It will all work out I promise you. You have been on this path as long as I have been on here. I wish you the best, you will get through xx

[lemonysnicket]

Thank you Dfh for your kind words. I feel like I’m getting weaker as he gets stronger, because he has been doing really well for a few months now, maybe that’s why I am worrying about the decisions I’ve made… I don’t know if it’s the prospect of moving, and leaving behind our home and all the memories of family life here, or regret and guilt about the decisions I’ve taken, or just general regret about what might of been, or fear of being alone, or a delayed reaction to everything, or the difficulties of lockdown, but I am full of anxiety. But deep down I know that if I’d stayed with home nothing would have changed and he would not have started to sort himself out. I’m going to see if I can gt some therapy for myself. I should have done it long ago but it’s so difficult when you are in the thick of it. Take care and thank you again xx

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