[danielsm]

Hi

I’ve never posted in a forum like this before but I’ve looked at other people’s posts to try and see if there was anyone out there going through the same thing. I’ve been with my partner for almost 10 years now. No kids together but kids from previous relationships, all young adults now. My partner abuses cocaine in a serious way and I think I’ve finally snapped. I knew he took coke before we got together but just on a social occasions, not regularly. I have tried it myself in younger years but it was never for me. But when I got into a relationship I quickly realised how serious the addiction was but for some reason I stayed. I supposed I’ve always been someone who tries to “fix” people, I seem to always be the one there to pick pieces up for everyone but quite often it’s not returned. I’ve lived through some unbelievable events. Well, I thought they were unbelievable until I have read some similar scenarios on this forum. Sniffing all the money for bills, running up debts, constant lies and deceit, manipulating me using the kids and family as reason to keep things hush. But it’s reached a head now and I can’t take any more. We’ve always had separate houses because our kids didn’t want to live together and I suppose I never forced the issue because it was good to have somewhere safe to go when the madness started. But now I’ve totally shut down for a month now. Changed locks, blocked on all methods of contact. I’m getting voicemails saying he’s changing, we’ve never split up like this before and it’s what he needed to realise etc. So my question is; has anyone actually had genuine change? I’ve heard this story about change at least 100 times, but could this be the time change really does happen?

Sorry for the long post

[vivvief]

This is not a long post, it is important to say what has happened and is happening now. Only you can decide what to do, but if he has been using for ten years, then maybe wait and see? He is talking the talk, but is he actually seeking help to stop? After ten years I would think that it would be very hard to stop on his own. Maybe take a bit of time and see if the change is real? Hope this helps x

[Author]

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