[blackhound]

Heya everybody… This is my first ever thread… Second post.

Let me start by saying I’ve been with my partner for over 7 years, married for over. I’m in my late 20s and he’s a little younger than me but also late 20s.

My husband has a drinking problem. He knows it. It’s largely his coping mechanism because that’s exactly what his parents did.

He’s been diagnosed with a wealth of mental health issues and lost a large amount of his lower leg muscle die to drunken induced self harm (his mental health issues relate to extreme depression, high suspected autism, anxiety, potentially bipolar) .. he’s on the road to getting help but by God no one tells you that the disdain, the distrust and the building level of not caring you experience hits you like a ball in the face.

I really don’t like to say it but the past 18 months, the last 12 especially have been filled with arguements and hatred towards each other. We’ve had moments of happiness like honeymoon and getting married. We’ve been to couples therapy, that was okay I guess, helped us understand a little more… I understood from this that I couldn’t control his drinking and Jesus Christ it’s so difficult to try not to… I have some control issues at home…

What’s worse is the only reason he is getting help is because he was arrested (which knocked him for six), I darent go into the details of that. He’s in private therapy and getting mental health help but they won’t touch him or go further until he sorts out his drinking. He’s been provided the number of a helpline to get it sorted and apparently he’s been told they’ll call him tomorrow…

I guess I’m here to rant… But I also want some comfort that I’m not the only one who feels like your fighting a dying battle…

Has anyone else experienced alcoholic family members and mental health issues and lived to tell the tale?

[hatty20]

I am the same. My boyfriend drinks as a coping mechanism. It’s a strange one as we have a good relationship but I’m aware he is probably thinking about beer a hell of a lot more than me. My boyfriend had been drinking all day every day for over ten years. When I found out the truth of his problem I was already living with him. Some of my friends know but it’s hard when they don’t really understand what it’s like to love someone with an addiction.

[blackhound]

Thanks for the reply Hatty20.

I’m living at my dad’s at the moment until Sunday. I left because I couldn’t take the continued arguing everyday. I was on an emotional rollercoaster and it was severely damaging my mental health. But I now need to find somewhere to live, I can’t stay at my mum’s because I have to take care of our dog and her flat is not suitable.

I’m in the angry stage ATM for putting our relationship in such a shitty position. Everything he’s done, including the drinking has jeapordised my want to go with him and that’s the frustrating part. Loving and hating someone who is basically an addict at the same time is a horror.

[hatty20]

How much is he drinking? I told my boyfriend I would have to leave him if he didn’t do anything about his drinking as it was affecting my life. So he went to his GP and got some tablets to help with the withdrawal symptoms. We are in a better place now but there’s still a long way to go. I think if it’s taking over your life / thoughts then you have done the right thing in leaving and sometimes things like being arrested or a partner leaving is the wake up call they need.

[Author]

Posts