[littlerose]

It’s been a really confusing time for me recently I just can’t make sense of my husbands behaviour at all.

So me & my husband for 7yrs have been Xbox1 gamers.

Because of financial Problems we lost our home some yrs back & had no other choice but to seperate homes.

Basically live back with our parents.

His family don’t like me so we couldn’t live together at his.

And because my husband is an alcoholic in denial he refused point blank to live at my parents.

His work hours have always been long & hard he takes any shift he can get as we live in a tiny ex miners village.

Work is very hard to get so you take what you can get.

Anyway I saw him weekends when he would be at mine.

In one weekend I could see him go through a pack of cans & half a bottle of whiskey in less than 12hrs.

He has so many physical symptoms worst being E.D which has crippled my sex life obviously.

But I never retaliated against him for any of it.

Anyway I’m getting off topic here sorry just wanted to give some background information to fill in the fact when Covid hit we have had no choice but to have an online relationship.

So we hung out together like we would in the week but had to put more effort to actually play games together instead of with other friends.

6 days ago I got a voicemail message from my Alcoholic partner that shocked me to my core I was physically shaking I was that heartbroken.

“I’m so sorry darling but I think we should get a divorce you deserve so much better than me”

Everyone who has heard it says he sounds out of it.

Is this really the behaviour of the Alcoholism taken over that they push you out of existence?

I’ve not replied back because he deleted me off his Xbox1 before hand.

Gave me no option to be able to contact or reach him.

He doesn’t own a phone.

We used our consoles to keep in contact with only.

[spottydog]

Hi, I’m so sorry to read this. I too live with an alcoholic and he is always threatening to leave me. It’s not a great place to be and even more so in your difficult circumstances.

Do you know anyone who knows him who can contact him to say you need to meet up with him and talk things through? He sounding like he’s feeling pretty down on himself – does his alcohol habits cause him to be depressed?

Maybe time apart has given him time to reflect? and it could be true that you don’t deserve the way he is behaving. In my experience of living with an alcoholic though, mine can be quick to say I don’t deserve his poor treatment, but the easier way to fix that for him is to say he’ll leave, than to tackle the alcohol problem.

With the right support that isn’t necessary the only outcome and my partner is now determined that he’ll put things right and is attempting to stop drinking altogether (for the umpteenth time – but is can be a long journey)

I’m not sure any of this is helping you, but at least you know there is someone who has been through similar – there will be many others too. Please don’t feel alone xx

Nic x

[littlerose]

Thank you Nik ????

I don’t know how this comes across but I don’t think I want any contact from him.. I’ve come to realise that I need my breathing space.

I’m also enjoying having that healing time.

Even through the waves of missing him that sometimes come to haunt.

But I’m not going to be his emotional punch bag.

Wouldn’t it of been great if I had been able to say that I can find someone to contact him.

But his family in all honesty would be throwing him a party if they knew we had split up.

They enable his behaviour because they all have a weird way of looking after each others needs.

A Background in history of Drugs, Alcoholism, unstableness, Toxic behaviour.

Oh and his mother has destroyed every single relationship he has ever had.

Now my marriage.

My family are moral, Christian, stable, forgiving, unconditional love and support.

But they hate my family so what can you do Huh.

Honestly I sigh of relief that I don’t have to deal with his side.

I can’t help him he has to help himself and he has pushed me out of his life.

So my silent treatment is justified because I’m giving him what he wants.

He’s manic depressive but never admits to any of his behaviour.

I pray for him but that’s all I can do.

“Avoiding certain people to protect your Emotional health is not Weakness it is Wisdom” ????

I’m Sorry for everything your going through with living under the same roof as your man.

You brave brave woman..my prayers are with you.

To constantly say he’s leaving and then stays must be incredibly cruel.

Emotional torture is the worse.

Honestly my heart goes out to you and thank you for your advice.

It’s helped because I realise how blessed I am that I don’t live with my man.

Maybe he saved me from all of that.. I was starting to think he just hates me or had no love or feelings for me anymore.

Now I’m not so sure ????

[spottydog]

Hi again. I’m glad that your time apart has helped you see that his baggage doesn’t have to be yours too. It does sound like is life is a mess and he was in danger of dragging you down with him. And while ever his family enable his behaviour and cover for him he will never change. So good for you! Be strong and hopefully you will move on.

Thank you for the prayers – he’s 7 days alcohol free so far

[littlerose]

Fantastic… Let’s hope this is it.. the breaking of the chains of Alcoholism for him.

I’m so happy for you ????

I will continue praying please keep me updated. ❤️

I’ve hit that wall recently where I’m missing him like crazy.

Had to delete more people that have chosen to be with Con.

Simply it’s because I’m jealous of the fact they get his attention and I don’t get any.

Anyways it is what it is & as awful as I feel I stick to my guns.

No contact… ????

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