[reggiek]

Hi. Just signed up to this. My mum has been drinking for years. It now rules her life. We’ve tried to help her but get nowhere. She doesn’t seem to want to help herself. She’s now in hospital as she took “some pills”. This feels like a wake up call for me as until now I’ve basically been in denial about it and just blocking it out. I don’t feel like I have a mum anymore. She has 3 beautiful grandchildren who she has no relationship whatever, let along me and my sister. I have had mental health struggles for many years and I worry if I get too involved with her troubles I’ll make myself unwell. Just don’t know what to do, feel pretty hopeless and useless about it and dread a call one day to say something awful has happened to her. Be really interested to hear what others have to say. Thank you

[careaboutyou]

Hi there, please take care of yourself, your own health and your children. You cannot help your Mum………………….I’m sure that you’ve tried for years.

My husband was an alcoholic, but I suppose at first we used to call it his drink problem….how could we manage his drinking problem. The thing with alcoholism is that it gets progressively worse over time. I totally relate to your fears of finding her dead or having had an accident. I had to leave my husband and take my young child away at the time, to save us from the hurricane that surrounds an addict.

After time after time when we feared that he would die, he did actually die. But this was a release for us, his family and for him. I understand how badly her behaviour will have affected you and I’m so sorry for you. I think that you’re right in that you have to protect your own health, as it’s very harmful to experience all of the storm and chaos around an alcoholic. She is probably abusive to anyone who tries to help her.

Please don’t feel responsible for her…she should have been responsible and a Mother to you. Don’t let your children near her ( sounds like you haven’t anyway ), but it could be very harmful for them. Protect your own bubble…it’s not your fault.

[Author]

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