[kasmum]

Our son took a huge step early in 2019 and told us that he had a bad Ketamine addiction problem and needed to leave his accommodation in London and come back home to get away from it and those who used it. Maybe back then we should’ve been tougher and said no but we were scared he would become homeless and live on the streets, a place no parent wants to see their child. The drug addiction was not really a surprize to us as we suspected some addiction as there were definite tell tale signs! But this scummy one flawed us! We stood by him with counselling, took him to meetings, gave him time to talk, tried to refrain from accusations and conflict. Tried to be non judgemental. IT WAS SO HARD! We started to find him in comatose states with eyes rolling and muscles locked into spasm, chanting jibberish nonsense, and depression then really set in. He became more withdrawn, unkempt, and did not care for anything. I keep telling myself we are not alone in this and there are others whose stories were far worse. Phoning 999 was a particularly scary night when we thought we were going to lose him through it.

Now reflecting on the whole story I was going to share, I question myself for whether we have enabled the addiction through too much love and support. My gut says we have 🙁 Allowing him to live here – we asked him not to use. He kept lying. Keeping him in work with the family with the idea of keeping him busy etc. If he was anyone else, and not our son, we would have fired them months ago for using.

Our son did turn a corner after a long period of living with hell, with real highs and the lowest of lows and then covid thrown in for good measure and still using. To cut a long story short he’s been approx 18months without it, until recently, (tho’ we are fairly certain he’s dabbled in cocaine so not entirely clean) although how much truth is really in that no use of Ketamine we could not be certain as the lies over the lies makes trust hard to happen again.

The tell tell signs are here again. He’s now 27 and back on Ketamine! Why? What triggered it? is he back seeing scummy ‘mates’? His girlfriend that he’s been with for over a year is great, they are great together. She now knows and wants to support him. He’s mostly at her home (inc parents) Is that just going to replace what we did before and allow him to be fine for a bit and then slide off again? The parents don’t know, they have a right to know but I have to respect our son’s wishes not to tell them his story. I have so many questions and I really don’t know any of the answers! We haven’t got to the bottom of it. I feel so sick with what he is back to doing!

Last week he admitted to having a hole in his nose after suffering severe sinus infections and needing two top teeth out, surely that in itself is enough to stop as Ketamine would have massively contributed to these health issues. Sorry now that is judgemental. You’ll get it though if you’re a parent/partner/sibling to an addict.

We are trying to stay strong, see the positives that he’s admitted to using, said he’ll start the meetings again but he’s so angry at us and cannot see why we are hurting. Maybe he’s angry as he has fallen down K hole and is likely to be in more debt than we can imagine. I needed to get that off my chest.

Thanks for letting me rant

KASmum

[cornwallmother2020]

Hi.

As a mother of a beautiful adult son who has drug issues my heart goes out to you. I also struggle with how much I ‘may’ have enabled in the past. I ruminate about how things could have been done differently and on my bad days I blame myself.

I dont know what Im trying to say, just that who knows what is the right thing at the time? This is a huge learning curve with many mistakes made through love and desperation.

Big, non patronising hug X

[kasmum]

Sending strength to you to cope with your rollercoaster journey.

I read @kalstars story they shared on the forum and I’ve since realised I NEED to try and take kalstars wife as inspiration and embrace tough love – my son needs to work hard to win me back. I think I’m going to find doing this hard and hope it’s a way forwards. Thank you for making the time to read and reply to my post.

[scousecharlie]

The kids these days are completely just on another level but unfortunately that’s the world we live in… you can’t keep a grown man locked up because soon as he gets out be straight in a k hole I’ve seen family go down the same route my cousin has a clostriphy bag know, I have my dependant which is coke and beer, not condemning any drug is less harmful than the next but horse tranquilliser and the way it effects you I just don’t no why it’s a big craze and growing

[kasmum]

I hope you find the strength to realise coke and beer may not have such a happy ending and you’re better than that. ????

I’m scared my son may end up with a colostomy bag and/or any other serious things because of his addiction. As a parent you want the best life for your children and many of them are not making good choices. It’s so sad and such a waste of what could be a brilliant life.

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