[becky86]

I’ve been with my husband for 19 years from I was 16 years old childhood sweethearts we have 3 children, my husband really is my best friend he has suffered a Cocaine addiction for a while now but for the last 7 months I noticed a big change in his behaviour

He was being cheeky with me and the kids moody, disappearing for days lost his job and never had any money I had suspected an affair and he told everyone I was a physco!

I found out 7 weeks ago my husband actually was having a 5 month affair with my so called friend when caught they both ran out of the country he rang me two weeks later telling me he had been of the drugs and how much he had woken up and realised what he had done said he had made the biggest mistake of his life he left her and came back to his family a week later I suspected he had been in contact with her and he flipped and went and stayed with his mum yet again no contact for two weeks he admitted he has been in contact with her and that he was still on the cocaine he said it was easier with her because she took it with him and I was nagging him to get help!

I believed him let him back booked him a boat to his family in Scotland as he was meant to be getting set up in a rehab over there he said he wanted to get clean for me and the kids and get his family back a few days in! His mistress contacted me to sort things between us! And was telling me how he told her all the same things a few weeks ago that he wanted her and couldn’t sleep all week thinking of her the exact same words he said to me!

I confronted him about her contacting me he has now blocked me and the children on his Moblie he is treating me like I’m the one who has some wrong and me and the children where due to go visit him next week he has told me to cancel and leave him alone not as nice as that in a very angry and abusive way

I just don’t understand it does he love me ? Does he mean what he said that she meant nothing it was just the drugs where easier with her?

I’m really ill mentally now with all this coming and going I don’t see a life without him he is all I’ve known

Is it the drug addiction? Or is he in love with his mistress ?

[icarus-trust]

Thanks for sharing your story and I’m sorry that your husband’s addiction is making you so ill and uncertain.

If you would like some help for yourself please contact us at Icarus Trust as we are a charity that offers support to people going through what you are having to deal with addiction in the family.

We have trained people called Family Friends and you could speak with one of them if you get in touch. They may be able to help you answer your questions and would be able to tell you what other support is there for you.

You can get in touch on contact@icarustrust.org

Good luck.

[unsure2021]

Its because she is into coke like him and he doesn’t have to hide it or feel ashame but wait till they both run up debts ,take it out on each other, if he can leave you and your kids for her and coke then he has done you all a massive favour although it won’t feel like it xx

[margot]

My husband also had an affair during active addiction and also resented the fact I had asked him to stop taking drugs. He also sought the company of people who were also using or who were telling him what he was doing was OK We also never had any money although we both worked. We have two daughters. He is now 3 years clean and working a 12 step programme in NA. It took ages before any of the recovery stuff happened. Years infact….But now we have trust and he has clarity. He does love you. He just doesn’t love himself and is trying to fill a void with whatever, whether drugs, sex, attention. All selfish behaviour is a part of active addiction. Don’t give up hope. I really hope he finds recovery. In the meantime you look after yourself and your kids as best you can.

[Author]

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