[boho-girl]

This is a tragic story, I have tears in my eyes reading this and felt the need to respond. I’m so glad you felt able to write all this down and get some pain out. I can’t imagine what you are going through but needed to assure you that you are absolutely not to blame for anything.

These forums are good for opening up if you feel unable to do that to people close in your life.

From reading your story it seems that despite everything you are going though you have graduated from uni and are managing to keep your life on track which is admirable and shows your strength in character. All you can do is be there for your mum as she needs to want the help and sounds like she is not ready for this. Addiction is not easy as I have watched family members go through this myself- I hope your mum finds the strength to beat this one day. Do you have a good circle of friends around you and you spoke about you nan, do you have a good relationship with her to support each other? Life is cruel and you sometimes not everyone can be saved but you can choose to save yourself. I’m here if you ever need to chat more x

[wonderingwhy]

replying to xsb95

Hello, and thank you for your response it means a lot to me. It’s been a very tough 4 years I was living away at university when I found out from my brother about her addiction when he found a pipe in her bag. I managed to graduate university as a nurse with a 2:1 I don’t know how because i cried myself to sleep every single night. However my brother hasn’t been so lucky, he stopped seeing friends, dropped out of university, hasn’t had a job he is now 22. All I have is my mum to blame for this, although she never takes responsibility for her actions always someone else to blame. Well now people are starting to notice that she looks like your typical addict.

Sharing my story has gave me a little bit of relief. I know I shouldn’t be embarrassed of my mum, but I am. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy I think it’s been harder for me because she used to be ‘normal’ but addiction has got the better of her. I just wish she could see the pain it has caused her children but I suppose you can’t force something to get off drugs. I feel like I’m missing out on mother and daughter memories because everyday I wake up worried that she’s going to die.

Our family haven’t ever been supportive at first they tried to help but now no one bothers with her.

[wonderingwhy]

Replies would be much appreciated

[boho-girl]

Well congratulations on graduating and becoming a nurse- that definitely can’t have been easy with everything you’re going through – you should be proud of yourself and with this determination I have no doubt you will be a great nurse – and can I just say that with everything going on in the world right now you have my total respect.

I get what you’re saying about missing out on mother/daughter memories and appreciate that must be sad for you but until your mum makes any effort to change it sounds like it’s time to put yourself first for a while and make good memories through work or with friends who are sometimes more precious than family.

So sorry to hear about your brother who hasn’t been as fortunate as you- he is still young too so hopefully he will get a break soon and a chance to make something of himself too. You both sound like smart individuals and I wish you both well. Stay safe x

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