[sophijack]

Hi there,

I was looking for some advice please as we have been dealing with my sister who is addicted to cocaine and crack for over 3 years now. During this period it’s gone from smoking to now injecting with her contracting various different infections. She goes through spells where sometimes she only does it in a binge every 6 months and sometimes it’s an ongoing thing.

Up until this point I have always supported her recovery, and I have felt pressure from my parents to solider on at the expense of my own mental health. I have now had my first baby 5 months ago and she has relapsed again and I have refused to have a relationship with her anymore as its literally taking over my life like it has my mum and dad.

The reason I am looking for advice is that I have made it very clear that I do not want my sister in my life or around my daughter whilst she continues down this path. However she is back living with my mum, who enables her like crazy! I am finding I am very uncomfortable leaving my daughter with my mum, even though I would trust my mum with my daughter to the ends of the earth! My sister is still in the background living there, seeing my daughter.

I have tried to set boundaries where I have told my mum my sister is not to be around my daughter at all, however I wanted to know others opinions on this with regard to Social Work because in my head, although my sister isn’t directly caring for my daughter she still has regular contact through living at my mums and I don’t think I would be doing the right thing by my daughter by allowing this indirect contact?

I should also say that although my sister is a drug addict, she never does drugs in my mums house (that we know of) and the binges can be so sporadic that she can be clean for months on end before she’s not. She’s also a very vulnerable gentle person who would never harm my daughter.

I just wanted the perspective of anyone who has been in a similar situation or knows the social Work system as I do not want to ever be in a situation where I am questioned on my choices as a parent.

Appreciate your thoughts x

[joanie59]

Hi SophiJack

I have a problem with a adult alcohol son

So I know what addiction can do

My granddaughter (my sons Daughter )

Has just had a baby and found out her husband had been using cocaine

And split from him

She only allows him contact with the baby when supervised by his parents or siblings

So I would imagine if your mums there it should be fine

I’m sorry for what you are going through

Joanie

[sophijack]

Hi Joanie,

Thank you for your reply, I am sorry for what you are going through too. It puts everyone in a difficult position.

Sending you lots of love. X

[joanie59]

Hi SophiJack

They say that an addicts actions effect about 5/10 people it’s a knock on thing

We all end up in the wake of their actions

My granddaughter has a good counsellor

She had been with her husband since school he was a lovely man

Now I feel as if I never knew who he was

He’s had drugs delivered to there home and been taking them in the spare bedroom with a new born in the house

I’m trying to support her and my son

Who is in a bad way with binge drinking bouts

But we live a long way from them both

But he’s ok at the moment sober and with us for Christmas

I’m on high alert

I expect you know what that’s like

Probably best to do what’s best for you and the baby and prioritise that

Sending you love too

Joanie

[Author]

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