[sophietomo]

Please join me on Instagram I want to share my story and stay in touch with people on my journey or similar I have bipolar, and I am an addict, I have in the last ten months found peace and I’m on a calm path but by no means free from addiction. Atleast once a day I think about it and it’s very very hard I fact the further it gets away and the more it becomes a distant memory the harder it gets as I forget how it made me feel in the end. This time last year I was Heavily addicted to cocaine and vodka, I hated it but I couldn’t stop, I cried 12 hours a day, I wanted to die but I couldn’t seem to do it, I was in and out of a and e, I broke my family’s heart and I completely lost a year of my daughters life. I found myself in bed sits dirty places, with all sorts of strangers, I can’t ever explain how it happened iv no idea how I ended up in that place, being taken advantage of sexually, sometimes you felt you owed it and sometimes you didn’t even know if was happening. My face aches and throbbed everyday and my heart ached like shards of glass I knew I was desperate but I was so scared to admit how far I was into a death sentence. I was so ashamed and terrified and all I wanted to do was die but I knew that was so selfish. I ended up pregnant and I don’t know how it had happened that how dangerous it was and I had to go through it all on my own because I couldn’t tell anyone how stupid id been. In the end I didn’t care anymore who I would leave behind I knew enough was enough I couldn’t stop and I couldn’t carry on I wanted to die end of. I went to a and e because I have bipolar and I wanted to be sectioned but they wouldnt help me abuse I was using drugs, the last day before I made a then was my heaviest ever I took any tablet I could find I had them all and I drank enough vodka to knock me out I never intended on waking up. Obviously I did and thank god because it was that day that I believe I was rescued by a higher power, I lay numb my body couldn’t move and my heart was pounding I knew I’d very nearly ended my life and some thing saved me, from that day iv no idea what happened but I had strength to stop and here I am ten months later still fighting. Iv had slips but nothing like how I used to behave. And I’m back in the gym fighting fit, iv a beautiful fiancé and a gorgeous daughter, a job a life and a future. Alls I think I’d imagine if I’d have ended it then I would never ever believe I’d get through that. workedhttps://www.instagram.com/p/B_TEAC_B0x2INW7M2R-9W-1tkwQzHU5MQ40cAA0/?igshid=bpd6w7bz156r

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