[1209]

My son is 26years old who has been using since he was around 12 years old started with cannabis now I believe he is using heroin. He used to steal from the home and smash his room up when he was younger if he didn’t get his way. He has had a lot to deal with in his life especially grief of losing his disabled sister and nan with dementia. I have tried to show him there is support available but he refuses, I understand he needs to want the help himself. He struggles with relationship’s due to the substance miss use and the girlfriend he has is enabling him. My son was doing well in work but now is unemployed and chooses to beg on the streets and sleep rough. I have stopped giving him money although I do still top up his oyster and pay for his phone bill…Am I doing the right thing as I feel this is the only way I know he can be contacted and get from a to b safely. I am new to this forum and would like to hear from anyone with wise words of support.

Thank you

[coffee0105]

It’s very difficult when you love someone so much you will do almost anything for them. Have you looked into an Adfam or similar group locally to you? My mum goes to one and they give help and advice. There are groups out there for him to attend (if he wants too) that’s the hard part. You can’t make him. I do know that at some NA groups they have drug dealers hanging about outside, so because the drug has changed the part of the brain that can’t say no. The temptation is too much and they use again, when trying there best not too. Have you spoken with your GP about what help to source? X

[1209]

Thank you for your reply, I have not as yet looked into meetings or adfam but am read a book based on detaching with love. I heard from someone he is writting a book about his children and what hes experince was. Two of the children have been put up for adopition abd one i still have regular contact with and until recently he also did. As a mother I know deep down he wants help but tearing me apart not knowing how I can help him.

[joanna12]

Hi there. My story is very similar. My son is 26 and has struggled for 12 years with addictions. Recently I’ve felt brave enough to attend Addaction meetings, I’ve been twice, and I’ve found them so helpful. I think you will too. To be around people in the same situation is the best therapy ????

[1209]

Hi

Thank you for your reply its so hard but I know I need to be strong.I am definitely thinking of attending a meeting to see if this will be of benifit to me.

[joanna12]

I’m sure it will. It was the best thing I could have done. Good luck x

[1209]

Thank you Good luck to you also.x

[icarus-trust]

Hi 1209

Thank you for posting. I know how very hard this is for you.

Just to let you know that a charity called The Icarus Trust is there to support people like yourself who are being affected by a family member’s addiction. If you think it would be helpful to talk with one of our experienced, trained people please get in touch.

You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org

All the best. I hope this helps.

[lime18]

Hi this is my first time on here but was looking to see if I could be in contact with any parents off addicts my son is 29 and addicted to cocaine it’s been 10 years I have tried everything he ended up In the salvation army was getting help he’s left there now so god only knows I have spoken to lovely people at adfam but not for a month or two but would like to talk to another mum or dad who feels as worried and frightened as I do about what’s next for their loved one

[joanna12]

Hi Lime. I’m in a similar predicament. I’m feeling very lost and alone and looking to talk to other parents

[1209]

Hi all

Since my last post my son came home for a night it broke my heart to see him he looked like a tramp and was out of it. I had my grand daughter had to get her out of the house quickly would of scared her for life if she had seen him. I spoke to him once he was awake enough and he agreed to go for help the next day and was happy for me to go with him, as he had missed a previous appointment he had to go back the next day. He didn’t come back to my house so I had my doubt whether he would show for next appointment but he did the system is very slow he has to now wait for an appointment with a nurse and have a blood test to see if he’s an addict? They gave him an injection to take away with him in case he overdoses my son lives on the streets through his own choice I think this is crazy as he wont know he’s overdosed and have anyone to give him the injection. I’ve been so tearful since I seen him and all that goes through my head is am I going to get a knock on the door saying they have found him dead. Surely there must be a fast route to get him help.

[lime18]

Hi is this Joanna 12 I’m still trying to get the hang of this but would love to be able to talk to other parents going through the agony of an addicted loved one…my son

[1209]

No 1209 is my user name.Im also new to this site.

[lime18]

Hi 1209 we may manage to get the hang of this …just reading the other posts is heartbreaking hope you are feeling ok

[lime18]

Hi I’m sorry I didn’t realise that was your post about your son it’s the most terrible thing waiting for a knock on the door I have a panic attack if anyone knocks on my door.i hope you can get some help and don’t get doors slammed in your face I’ve pleaded for people to help my son but as people tell me he has to want to help himself and at the moment doesn’t appear to be doing that.i hope you get some help for your son and for you

[icarus-trust]

Hi Lime and Joanna,

Please feel free to contact The Icarus Trust if you feel it would be helpful. We are a charity that supports friends and families of people with addictive behaviours and have a team of experienced people you could talk with.

You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org

I hope that you can find some support and not feel so alone.

Good luck to you both.

[desperate]

Hi lime and Joanna I am also in the same predicament and at my wits end.looking for support two of my sons have mental health drug and gambling addiction. One works the other one does not. My two other children have totally detached themselves from them so I am dealing alone with the stress. My husband is not the biological father so he does not have the emotional bond that I have even though he’s been in their lives for 20 years. I registered on here today as I am at my wits end not knowing what to do. Feel free to get in touch

[Author]

Posts