[katie89]

So this whole pregnancy has turned into my worst nightmare and I need some advice/support/a listening ear from someone who won’t judge I suppose.

My partner has always done a little bit if cocaine every now and again but it was always on a night out or something like that not really ever been a problem (I was stupid enough to think then 🙁 )

We have a gorgeous little boy together3 other children 2 mine one his from previous relationships.

And a daughter due any time

Any way things have definitely took a turn for the worst during my pregnancy I found out about 4-5 months pregnant he had been smoking crack (something he was so against and ever imagined him to even try it) was so annoyed I hadn’t even noticed then when I looked back it made sense he was out fishing at any opportunity, grumpy sleeping when here but I just put it down to my hormones he left us and admitted he had a problem it was like my whole world had been torn apart after a month or so away he said he had stopped this had made him realise he was getting help had started ca meetings ect did drug tests and things where better than ever I thought he has scared himself and was really a wake up call for him

Then2 days before our daughter was due he didn’t come home told me he was lieing he had been doing stuff again and haven’t seen him since he’s saying he’s going to go into rehab he knows he’s got a problem etc etc

So now the birth I was so excited about to go through together has been shattered into a million pieces I’m so scared I’m doing it alone (someone will come with me I expect but I don’t even feel comfortable having Anyone else with me really)

I’m embarrassed ashamed and in complete shock that this is happening while he just says he can’t help it he is ill and he will get sorted so basically probably just sat there getting off his face feeling sorry for himself while I could give birth at any minute and have 3 other children to try and I have stay strong for and basically just need to try be some sort of superwoman when all I want to do is break down.

I won’t ever let him back into my life after this but at the same time I’m still made to feel sorry for him while he clearly couldn’t care less although he says he does I really don’t understand addiction though has he got a problem or is he just being a complete selfish arse that wants a big blow out

Any advice to make things easier? People to talk to?

Would be greatly appreciated

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