[FailingMother]

Hi there,

New to the forums and really just looking for some support.  My 28 year old son has always smoked cannabis which then turned to snorting cocaine which has now advanced to smoking crack.  He has moved back in with me after the failing of his relationship (due to drugs) and I am really struggling to cope with this.

My sons father committed suicide 2 years ago and since then my sons drug habit has spiralled out of control.  He has started stealing money off myself and his sister in order to fund this.  I am being advised that I need to ask him to leave but am also aware that his addiction is an illness and he needs support.

Would welcome some advice from anyone who has found themselves in this situation and how they dealt with it and overcome the immense feelings of guilt.

[jem]

I’m really sorry to hear about your son’s drug taking and his father’s suicide. It’s very tough on you if he’s moved back home and is stealing.  There are plenty of mum’s on this forum that have experience of being in this situation.  My advice is that you have a rule that hat if he’s in your home he is also getting treatment, and that you can have permission to talk to his caseworker.   I didn’t do this and wasted many years and £000’s.  Ultimately you will run out of cash and your own health will suffer, so you are better implementing this sooner rather than later.  Only they can make the changes to put them on the road to recovery – your son will probably try and blame you for his problems.  It’s very hard to kick an adult child out or to know what to do if they aren’t mentally ready to stop doing drugs, but you have to protect yourself so that you are there to help when he is ready.  Make sure you get support for yourself, Adfam can provide 1 to 1 counselling, Drugsfam have a really good helpline, there may be Famanon meetings in your area – have a look at their website.  Focus on yourself, getting out and seeing people. If you have close friends and family, that you trust, tell them what is happening. It’s very easy for this to become your secret, which makes everything worse.  If you work, make that a priority, it’s easy to think that you just can’t face it, but hopefully it gets you into a different headspace and is a distraction from the chaos and drama.  Goodluck, and keep posting on here, there are so many mum’s going through something similar.

[eddie123]

<span style=”caret-color: #183264; color: #183264; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”>Hi there, this sounds like a very difficult situation for you and I am sorry. I know of a great charity that supports people like yourselves nationwide. The family support programme is all remote and they help many families a year. Please see link and fill in the referral and someone will endeavour to respond within 24 hours. </span>https://adaptoxford.org.uk/the-icarus-programme/<br style=”caret-color: #183264; color: #183264; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;” /><span style=”caret-color: #183264; color: #183264; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”>They also provide free treatment if an addict wants to get clean, have a look at their websitE! </span>

[eddie123]

<span style=”caret-color: #183264; color: #183264; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”>Hello there, this sounds like a very difficult situation for you and I am sorry. I know of a great charity that supports people like yourselves nationwide. The family support programme is all remote and they help many families a year. Please see link and fill in the referral and someone will endeavour to respond within 24 hours. </span>https://adaptoxford.org.uk/the-icarus-programme/<br style=”caret-color: #183264; color: #183264; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;” /><span style=”caret-color: #183264; color: #183264; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”>They also provide free treatment if an addict wants to get clean, have a look at their website</span>

[eddie123]

<span style=”caret-color: #183264; color: #183264; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”>Hi there, this sounds like a very difficult situation for you and I am sorry. I know of a great charity that supports people like yourselves nationwide. The family support programme is all remote and they help many families a year. Please see link and fill in the referral and someone will endeavour to respond within 24 hours. </span>https://adaptoxford.org.uk/the-icarus-programme/<br style=”caret-color: #183264; color: #183264; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;” /><span style=”caret-color: #183264; color: #183264; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”>They also provide free treatment if an addict wants to get clean, have a look at their website</span>

[eddie123]

How are things now? The Icarus programme at adapt charity really is incredible

[Author]

Posts