[jennie]

I am worried about my son. He has recently admitted he is drinking too much. I told him I would support him in any way I could but he needs to speak to GP to get access to proper help. Since then He won’t speak about it and when I asked him if he had contacted doctor he started to shout at me to shut up about it. I know he is still drinking but I don’t know how to deal with it in a way that best helps him. Meanwhile I’m struggling to cope as I’m scared for the future. Could do with some advice. Thanks

[elizabethl]

Hi Jennie,

I have just posted with a similar story to yourself. My husband has been an alcoholic for over 5 years. When I first suggested he saw a GP he was adamant he didn’t have a problem.

As time went on, he admitted to struggling. Going to the GP for the first time was on his terms and when he was ready. I understand how hard it is to want to help someone you love but as I have learnt, you can’t force anyone in to something they are not ready for.

Could he be shouting at you/telling you to shut up because he knows you are right but he is frightened about the future too? My husband is always very matter of fact/polite about his illness to his family but breaks down when he speaks about it with me. I think this is because we are the closest to them.

I don’t have much advice as I don’t know myself but I can say that your son knows how much you care about him. I wouldn’t give up on the doctors but maybe your son is embarrassed about his drinking and that’s why he is acting defensively when you asked him about it.

Could you look into some counsellors in your local area or recovery groups? My husband did not respond well to AA but goes to SMART recovery.

[jennie]

Thank you for replying. You’re right, did actually say he was embarrassed about it but did say he would get help. But as far as I know he has not done anything about it. I will check out SMART but obviously I am worried about taking control when it should be him that’s doing it. I’m very wary of telling him what to do but I’ll try to find a way. Thank you so much and I hope it all works out for you and your husband.

[helj]

There should be a drugs and alcohol misuse service in your area. You can go speak to them as a ‘concerned other’ for support and advice.

[jennie]

Thank you I will do that. Hard isn’t it.

[Author]

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