- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 6 months ago by esta.
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June 5, 2021 at 1:35 pm #6798lou85Participant
Hi,
I spend many days along with my 17month old daughter whilst my partner lays in bed after doing cocaine all night. I dread when he does get up because he calls me from a pig to a dog that much so it’s left mental scars. I’m struggling to cope and hate the person I am because of him. I have no life I’m isolated from everything because everything is always my fault right down to him doing drug’s. I don’t know which way to turn anymore
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June 5, 2021 at 3:49 pm #23572leedsjlcParticipant
I’m so sorry you are in this situation.
My wife is an cocaine addict and alcoholic and she responds exactly the same to me when I question anything. An addict will always blame you, it’s their way of shifting the feelings of guilt and shame across to you so they don’t have to deal with it. An addict has no empathy, compassion or remorse, and unfortunately will put their need for drugs above everything else.
It has ruined me as a person, I was once a strong, out going individual, who had hobbies and a life, now I dedicate my life to my 4 children and have nothing for myself, I am so anxious due to not knowing when she is going to use again that I am suffering panic attacks regularly and have now started to see a counsellor.
Do not let it get to this point, i kept this all to myself for 2 years and found no support, did not tell family or friends and isolated myself, and that was the worse possible thing to do.
You need to look after yourself, self care is vital. Put boundaries in place and try to stick with them, and please do not blame yourself or start to think that any of your actions have led to this, an addict will do that and create self doubt in you, be strong and always remember that you are not to blame.
I know it’s hard and times can get desperate, but you are strong and can get through this.
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June 5, 2021 at 9:19 pm #23589estaParticipant
You don’t have to live like this and you don’t deserve it
Life can be good and you will recover from this even though you feel so worn down you can’t see it now
Leave him to get on with it and don’t look back
Don’t worry about how he feels about it; it’s time to move on
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