Hiya,
Please do not feel like this. You can change whenever you’re ready and it’s never to late.
My partner has been clean a year and if he can do it, you can too.
Well done for taking the first step. You can do this, I promise you. Give yourself a day, then another day and if you fall, it’s not the end of the world, you can start again tomorrow.
I have faith in you.
Sending you all my support.