[nova1985]

*saying he is sleeping, sorry didn’t prove read. Btw my sister is not like that at all. He just wants to hurt me as much as possible.

[downtrodden1]

Hi Nova,

I came across your post and can resonate so much. I could have written this post myself 20 years ago.

Detox is available on the Nhs but your husband would have to consent to receiving treatment. In my experience that is the easy part, the hardest bit for me was raising my hopes that things may change for the better only to have them dashed a few weeks later by relapse.

Everyone is different and their are many success stories where people have overcome their battle. I hope that is the case for your husband and family.

That isn’t the case for my situation, I found over the years the situation slowly deteriorated, the drinking and the abuse escalated.

I stayed because I know if I’d have left he would have drank himself to death and I couldn’t carry that guilt. Looking back that was the wrong decision, the addiction and associated abuse was not mine to carry. Yet I still remain.

If you decide to stay, the best advice I can offer you is to save what little you can and give yourself a secret emergency fund to get out if and when you decide to leave. Do not allow him to financially trap you.

I wish you and your children well.

[nova1985]

Thank you for responding, am sorry that you are going through this is not fair. My husband is in a program now and getting professional help, thankfully he has his wake up call. The rum has gone it’s been a week now, and die to 6 small bottles of beer in a 24 hr period. He is much better in himself and nicer.

[Author]

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