[dot]

I cant really comment as I’ve only just stopped it myself but my advice is to get tough now. Dont let him sweet talk you. It reminds me of me and what I was doing then it went secretive. Hope you can no it in the bud now before it’s too late.

[smithy]

Thanks, it’s been a massive roller coaster ride of emotions and I really hope he means it. All of the things I’ve read says that I mustn’t be his enabler and he has to want to change not me want him to change as its not enough. I’m hoping he can do this or it will destroy us as he was becoming a different person.

[dot]

Yeah I hope he does or he will be where I am with nothing…. to be honest it goes both ways if people wanna fix it they do lol. Butbyeah dont enable his behaviour

[smithy]

Thanks Dazo, I hope you continue your journey and don’t give into it. It sounds like you’ve lost enough

[juliemcevoy50]

On the surface cannabis looks to some like an acceptable leisure drug. Most users will try and convince anyone that it is less harmful than this or that. When it enters your world from a partner, son or daughter it’s a whole different ball game. The effects of this drug are devastating in my experience. It leads to demotivated lazy self centred individuals who mostly lie. The anger and mental health issues it causes is unprecedented. Be strong and be resolute in your own head this is a dangerous path

[smithy]

I have seen a little of this with the lying, lazyness and personality changes and now when I look over the past few months I realise more and more. I have just read your post and can see how awful it has been for you and your family and how hard you have tried for so long. I don’t want to get to that stage although I know that he has never given up smoking weed no matter how many times I asked and now the cocaine addition as much as he hasn’t used it everyday has been a slippery slope to a man that I never thought would lie to me and behave the way he has and now I’m just not sure. I was once in a emotionally abusive relationship with my previous marriage for 10 years and when I finally had the strength and said the words that I wanted a divorce I never looked back. I stayed for my children for too long.

I’m our house at the moment I have a vulnerable teenager who tried to take her life last year and doesn’t want to have anything to do with her dad, my husband now is her father figure but they don’t hit it off and now I realise that his personality has changed where he finds her irritating and doesn’t do anything with her was because he has been struggling with either dope overs or not being high from coke. Last night I told him that I can offer support but he has to do this, it has to come from him. And if not then the embarrassment and shame that he feels now will be nothing compared with when everyone else finds out such as his kids and mine etc. I am resolved in the fact that I might have to make that decision as there is a good chance that this will crop its ugly, destroying head again. I hope this forum helps you a tiny bit as your life sounds unbelievably difficult.

[kklost]

Friday was an unlucky day! I found out too.

I really know how you feel. It’s all the trust and worry that is doing my head in.

Will it get easier?

I really feel for you. I honestly do. No answers as I’m in same shit boat with you

[smithy]

I read your post when I first joined here and really felt for you. I hate the way it’s changed things. Trust is a massive thing for me and that has been destroyed. I love my husband and want him to find some help but it can’t just be me wanting it. In my head I am leaving him to make some positive changes and if he doesn’t then that tells me masses and I will have a hard time asking him not to go as I can’t risk our lives. I am here to support but not enable but its a lonely road for all I think. Keep writing on here as hopefully we can help each other x

[Author]

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