[Frahar]

It’s now been almost two months since my husband walked out I posted before about him slipping back in to cocaine use around Xmas after losing contact with his daughter. I don’t know what to do anymore I get blocked then unblocked from contacting him then he messages blaming me for him being back on it (I have anxiety and after an incident where he kissed a girl I always thought he was cheating) he’s convinced I’m talking to an ex when he sees me online on WhatsApp (I’m usually talking to my daughter or best friend or if I’m honest seeing if he’s online hoping he will message) I put a status up about missing him and he’s blocked me and it’s the longest I’ve been blocked he’s blocked my number even unfollowed me on tik tok ( this was quite petty seeing I rarely go on tiktok) this is a man that promised to love me forever in October and he’s now totally erased me out of his life. Just three weeks ago he was sorry and didn’t want to be like this. I feel heartbroken and if I’m honest I’m struggling to cope I’ve been in contact with my local crisis team because I’m really finding everything so hard, it’s like the man I married just disappeared and got replaced by this horrible version instead in the space of a few weeks we hadn’t even been on a honeymoon yet he msg on Tuesday because he wanted what is left of his belongings I said I’d get them ready for today (Sunday) and msg when it was OK for someone to collect them but then by Friday I was blocked from contacting him. I can’t get my head round the fact this time last year I was planning my wedding now I’m getting a divorce when the year is up (his choice) he says it blocks everything out but while he’s blocking everything out I’m feeling everything I’m trying to keep busy but I can’t stop thinking about what he’s up to if he’s OK etc I’ve spent today just sobbing my heart out and I know even if he knew this new version wouldn’t care because he hates me so much. I don’t know how to deal with all this not going into details but some of the things he has said are so hurtful the sudden onset of hate is crushing I actually feel like I don’t want to be here anymore

[wavy22]

Hello,

I just wanted to reply to see how you are holding up? Sounds like it’s such a difficult time for you, heartbreaking to read and I really feel for you.

It never seems fair or justified and you replay everything over in your head.

I don’t know you, but from reading your thread this man isn’t worth your tears and the anguish he’s putting you through. He’s definitely not worth your life.

Try doing something for you and put yourself first and take it minute by minute if you have to. Find strength by not waiting for him to message and in all honesty, i would be blocking him from contacting you. It will make him wonder when he finally does decide to unblock you.
He needs to realise that he doesn’t have so much of a hold on your life, when his own is spiralling out of control.
You are not a puppet on his string and you deserve so much more from someone xx

[Author]

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