[jane70]

I’m in a new relationship with someone I knew previously and just met up with recently after many years.

I knew when I met back up with him that there were issues with alcohol but didn’t know the exactly what the situation was.

The first weekend we met up I stayed at his place for 2 nights and we had many discussions about alcohol. He was very open and honest, talking about his past, his anxiousness, depression, what he drinks, how much (often starts at 10 in the morning), how fed up with life he is, with drinking, with not being able to hold down a job. He talked about how lonely he is, health issues – he has constant pain top left of his chest, his body aches. He gets the sweats and shakes in the morning.

I made it very clear to him from the start that I wouldn’t judge or criticise him, wouldn’t make comments about how much he drinks or try to get him to stop, and said I was there for him whenever he needs me. I think this helped him to open up to me and he told me things he’s never told anyone during his 20 years of heavy drinking.

I feel desperately sad as he’s such a wonderful man who I’m falling for all over again, and I know there’s very little I can do to help him.

To look at him, you wouldn’t know there is an issue. Well groomed, clean, his house is immaculate.

He’s been disowned by some family members, has virtually no friends left, can’t hold down a job, is banned from all his local supermarkets for stealing alcohol.

Despite all this he’s still one of the kindest, loveliest people you could meet.

Just feeling very sad and emotional tonight as I think about his hopelessness and all the hurt he’s carrying around ????

[Author]

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