[michellec20]

At the end of my straw now. Now I know I have to leave him am so depressed and cry most weekends cos my fiancé sits and before my eyes he changes the way he looks his speech and I’ve just put kids to bed to enjoy our weekend but end up sitting myself he’s in and out toilet acts as if am not there totally different person to the man I love .

[georgia26]

HI Michelle,

When did you find out he was addicted to cocaine?

Ah its such a horrendous situation to be in – cocaine completely changes the person you fell in love with, its so hurtful isnt it. He wont be doing this though to hurt you – it completely grips hold of them.

have you had a conversation with him about it?

[michellec20]

He’s been doing it for years when I got with him 6 month in I knew he was taking it but un aware he had a problem . He holds down a job and is a nice guy when this isn’t affecting him or us with wages disappearing. We have been together 4 year and has done all the time . We talk about it he doesn’t like it he went to meetings for 5-6 weeks there and was doing well then stoped and when straight back to doing it again my family have banned him from there house as he got wasted at mums birthday at Hogmanay and kids where there with us gutted ????

[georgia26]

Its so hard to try and tell you what to do as the truth is, nothing you do will make him stop. He has to want help. I have been through this, I have cried, threatened and actually left mine but he still continued. His mental health i think made him realise that his cocaine use needed to stop.

He goes to addiction counselling which is really helpful but £60 an hour.. he really wants it and hasnt relapsed in 7 weeks now which is the longest.

I feel for you as kids are involved – how old are you if you dont mind me asking?

my bf completely changed when he took cocaine, like a different person – he said horrible things and was emotionless – the stuff is poison its the worst.

Does he suffer with mental health issues at all? anxiety? depression? where did this all stem from? my bf started as he went through hell and back with his ex wife and he lost his kids etc. So was self medicating.

You can always come on here for advice, lots of us are the people who love the addict and there are also addicts.. so you get both sides of advice x

[michellec20]

I really don’t know where it steamed from I have thoughts but not sure I think his mum was a alky years back his mum and sister always cover for him. Am 36 he’s 38 . Where does he go for counciling? £60 would be well worth it to save him and my family he I feel he does want to stop 6 wks longest he has stoped he works so hard 6 days a week it’s horrible am drowning in it now tho and it’s not good for me to be depressed when I’ve got the kids to think of xx hope your man beats this shit x

[georgia26]

what area are you in? go onto google and type in “addiction counselling” but he really needs to be dedicated. Does he want to stop? has he said this to you?

God its a living nightmare isnt it.. I cant imagine how hard it must be to keep it together with kids as well.

Once they do a bit, its like there is no going back – he completely changes its so sad.

how much is he doing, do you know?xx

[michellec20]

Am not sure I’ve never took shit and don’t even know how much it costs but I would say on the weekend he spends about £150 on it . Am glasgow . Yes it’s really hard especially when u are mad in love and have kids and see the good person when not on it to break Away but I think that’s what it will take for him to wake up yes he’s told me few times he wants to stop x

[hox]

Hi Michelle. I hope you have got through to your husband and he is trying to stop the cocaine usage.

I know what you mean when you say they change. My husband has changed completely. He doesn’t have a glimmer of the person he used to be and he cannot feel the love for me that he used to and he doesn’t know why. Luckily I do, cocaine came before me. My husband was the greatest before the coke took hold.

I hope he gets help with his addiction soon as I wouldn’t want another loving family destroyed by cocaine.

I wish you well.

[georgia26]

I see – does he use in the week?

its like the person you marry dies, its hard to accept. I dont get how the stuff makes people like that?! it confuses the hell out of me. Its scary.

My partner is SO selfish when he does it, nothing and no one comes before. Its devastating for the person having to deal with the backlash. I have been in tears breaking my heart and hes gone out and done it 2 minutes after saying sorry.

Hope youre ok anyway and things are looking a bit better.

£150 worth i think is about 2 grams i dont know? still a lot, i guess it doesnt matter how much even if its a line its an addiction – he needs to stop and seek help.

The meetings didnt work for my other half they actually made him worse i think, cos when he left the meetings he would disappear.

I will never understand really what it does to the human body but it is fucking awful!! evil stuff…

xxx

[michellec20]

So Wednesday night and he’s back to it again in and out toilet lodging on he’s sleeping am sitting downstairs crying kids in bed this is life for me I need strength to walk away. Texted his family saying I need help with him he’s back up to same shit guess what the ignored me and will pretend everything’s fine tomo and still fine with him I blame them for letting him be like this for so long sorry people am down and upset x

[hox]

My heart goes out to you, it’s a lonely life.

[bigt]

Hey, i’m Sorry to hear of the crap your going through, mY life is the same as yours…. I met him 5 yrs ago, he was the best looking bloke I had seen in years, funny, charming, loving, you name it… I then found out he was a secret coke head, after having 2 kids with him, it killed me, disappearing all night when on benders and when i’d have a go at him… he’d leave when i’d go shop or something leaving a note saying how sorry he was. He’d go back to his dads where his alcoholic nasty mother would be who believes he is perfect in every way. She encourages him to be how he is… disgusting bitch! Well he got clean so we got back together (yes, i’m Weak) he worked away and wouldn’t take it till the Friday night when he had his eldest at his parents.. Saturday I would tell, i’d Get lies, he’d gamble all his money, he literally has nothing. We split up again when I found out he was taking it at work (the only thing he had) he left coz I told him he was no good for himself, his kids or anyone whilst on the shit! He left a note saying I made him feel worthless. Since then he has only contacted me for his football stuff, nothing about the kids. How does he think we feel when he choose that over us? I feel like he didn’t care n still doesn’t. Today I have told him, that he cannot see the kids due to his constant drug intake and that he should get help with all his issues before I contemplate him seeing them again. I know I may be called all sorts for this but, my kids deserve better than what he can currently offer! He has the ability to be the best. It’s so hard to sit n see someone you love destroy themselves, but we really need to let them get to their worst, whether it be regarding kids or leaving them. If they still don’t do it, then your well rid. I am aware it’s easier said than done n it will take courage to carry on! You can do it… I just hope I can, without feeling sorry for him when he rings me crying! Sorry it’s long. I hope your ok and your not the only 1 going through this bullshit xx

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