[quilko98]

To anyone who might take 2 minutes to read, this is my story.

For the last 4 and a half years I have been on and off using cocaine whilst drinking alcohol, mainly on weekends but sometimes in the week. I have been with my partner for 4 years this may, and for long periods of time she had no idea I was a cocaine user, as I had lied to her about doing it. But eventually around 2 years ago all the secrets came out. I have since then tried and tried again to completely come off the drug, and give you drinking. This Friday I made the decision to take cocaine again and the truth once again came out. I have been lying to my partner for 5 months, about using again and drinking. My life had become one big lie, covering my tracks when I had to and making excuses constantly about things, where the moneys been going, and where I’ve been going ect. I have finally admitted that I do have a problem. Something which one started as a Friday night with friends, had ended in me be able to take cocaine on my own, and not caring about anything or what hurt I am causing my doing it. I am finally admitting I need to do something about this problem I’ve been pushing to the side for years and never actually facing up to the fact it is an addiction I have.

Today and everyday now, I want to change. I want to stop with the lies and live an honest life. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Callum x

[mammyessex]

Hi Callum well done for admitting it , my husband left 6 months ago after a fantastic 24 year marriage it’s since came out he’s hooked badly on cocaine and finally admitted it today , now I’ve been on your partners end , the lies the shock of it all hits you like a bolt of lightening I imagine she is on egg shells with the whole situation, what’s happened has happened there is no point going back over it , you want to do the right thing now that’s what matters , make sure she knows how serious you are about it and join ca every self help group you can , my husband has lost everything even today he failed a drug test after swearing he hasn’t touched it in 2 weeks he won’t accept help he wants to do it on his own which I imagine where you have been yourself , it never works out well you need to be open and honest with everyone , well done again for admitting it , take any help your offered xx

[lindyloo]

Hi Callum, welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story. You have admitted that you have a problem with alcohol and cocaine and seek support. That is your first step to recovery !

If you scroll back a bit and read Danman83 or Jamesb posts they are guys in early recovery offering support and advice.

My 29yr son has alcohol and cocaine addictions, the alcohol triggers the need for cocaine, so you need to stop drinking, and hanging around the crowd who drink and use.

My son has been using alcohol since 14 and cocaine since 17.

After years of hell, he came to us for help. Dealers after him, debt, about to lose everything.

He joined CA and AA groups, he has had a few relapses but to date thanks to the fellowship guys and sheer determination is currently 9 months clean.

So it IS possible, there are so many other success stories out there.

You will be pushing others aside as using cocaine desensitises you towards any emotion or care. My son told me this.

Please seek help from these guys Callum you won’t regret it. The meetings are everywhere and regularly. So you have no excuse!

Take care, stay strong and keep in touch here.

Lx

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