[irchem]

I have just ended it with my boyfriend after a long exhausting 2 years. He’s been to private therapy funded by his parents and we even went to couples counselling.

I’ve kicked him out countless times and had him back time after time but with the same outcome. Cocaine has won! I do understand addiction so much more now as I’ve educated myself about it, I had little to no understanding at the beginning of the relationship.

His addiction has ruined me but it’s ultimately ruining him more, everyday. It’s easy to say to people oh just leave, walk away but you do feel that guilt of abandoning them.

If he were to take an extreme amount of cocaine and died I know that’s not my responsibility, guilt I would absolutely feel but responsibility absolutely not.

He knows the path he should take and at times has wanted to continue on it but that drug just pulls him back.. I’ve left the door open as such to say if you decide you want help, I’ll always support you and I will always love you. But no more!! He’s at his parents now and I’m trying so hard to focus on me. My mental health has suffered significantly.

We all have to reach our limit, I’m relieved I’ve reached mine x

[lindyloo]

Hi Irchem,

It must have been very difficult to make that choice to leave the relationship. As you said, hes been given so many chances to change and seek help.

Its very exhausting having a loved one with an addiction. My husband and i are mentally ,emotionally, physically and financially worn out supporting our son, for years.

Your health and well-being is important, you can’t have him drag you down any longer.

In my opinion you have done the right thing, you have to be cruel to be kind sometimes.

At least you tried, and you can hold your head high, knowing that you tried.

I wish you well for your future and I hope your bf seeks and gets the support he needs to get on with his life.

Take care

Lx

[irchem]

Thank you so much for your kind words, it’s a great comfort knowing other people totally understand the pain which is associated with addiction. It’s totally heartbreaking and everyone has to reach their point where they can’t take anymore. I hope you & your husband are in a place where you can actually relax and not worry.

If we are honest I don’t think any loved ones of an addict can fully do that.

Detachment from them in some way is the best way forward though, so they know it’s just their choice and you don’t agree with it. Finally no more enabling

You take care

E.

[heartbroken-and-exha]

So sorry you are going through this. I’m currently facing the same battle… my husband is a cocaine and alcohol addict and I’ve tried for over a year to get him help.

I kicked him out as it was getting too much and he has accepted he has an issue now and gone to rehab but I just don’t know how I can take him back after all of the lies. 🙁

I feel that same responsibility for him and don’t want him to struggle alone but I’ve put my life on hold and tried for so long I’m exhausted. There’s no trust left so how do you move forward?

[irchem]

You just have to take it one step at a time. It’s like grieving, I feel I have lost him to the devil, only he can find his way back to a life that brings him comfort without drugs & alcohol. My ex has said he will go to counselling but I very much doubt it. I’ve had a few nights of drunken txts and manipulation because he’s sad & depressed but I’ve not given in.. I’m standing strong this time.

[lindyloo]

Irchem

I have also said ‘lost him to the devil’ on many occasions about my son.

Fortunately he’s starting meetings again and speaking to his sponsor regularly so that gives me hope.

It’s easier to help them when they’re trying to help themselves.

It is an illness and every day is a battle for them, but you also have to do what’s best for your situation as everyone’s is different.

I hope you and Heartbroken find the peace and happiness you need.

Take care

Lx

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