[lou1321]

Hi Ali51

How much do you love him and Do you trust him? Do you believe that he is no longer sniffing? If he is drinking more then is that also a problem? He clearly needs help with his mental health and there are all sorts of therapies around that do not involve taking medication. But he would need to do this himself.

Maybe you could speak to a professional (counsellor, doctor etc) and get some advice and proper facts about addiction, no matter what the addiction is somewhere inside the body is the person you love. Sometimes it helps to understand addiction and what is going on in their bodies to make them crave it. At the end of the day you can support him and point him in the right direction but only he can make the choice to help himself.

I hope this has not come across too uncaring, every body on this site will be feeling your pain.

You sound young and in love, do not get so absorbed in his problems that you stop looking after you.. You matter too xx

[ali51]

Hi Lou1312

Thanks for your reply!

I love him a lot and before this trusted him 1000% but now a feel a little trust has gone.

I know with his drinking its almost like peer pressure from his friends and a ‘lad culture’ and that he feels he needs to drink loads while he is out, he doesn’t know when to stop. Sometimes he can be out until 5am. I know from being out drinking with my friends I don’t know my limits and I don’t necessarily think about is it time to go home. So maybe is that just part of being young and having no responsibilities of having to go home at a reasonable time. I do feel like he has some self control though because he doesn’t go out every weekend, I know he’s not dependent on alcohol its usually after he has played football on a Saturday and if i’m in work he tends to go out because they all have a pint in the pub after a game and it just usually ends up with them all going out into town

After talking to him more I think he is willing to go and talk to someone but is scared. I think the big problem is more to do with his mental health and his coping mechanisms for it and I know that it needs to be his choice and I can’t force him as he has to be willing to help himself as there is only so much I can do and I feel that I do have the strength to walk away if things get bad

[lou1321]

Good Luck Ali51, The fact you are both talking is a massive positive. Take comfort in that. Keeping everything crossed for you both.

[icarus-trust]

Hi Ali,

Thanks for sharing your story. I’m sorry that your partner feels scared to talk to someone who could help him and really hope that he is able to do this.

I think Lou is right that maybe you would find it useful to talk with someone who could answer some of your questions about your partner’s addiction.

You might like to contact us at The Icarus Trust as we are a charity that supports people who are dealing with a family member or friend’s addiction. You could be put in touch with one of our experienced people who would understand what you are dealing with and give you information that you might find useful.

You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org

Good luck with it all Ali and keep strong.

[Author]

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