[amylfr]

Hey all,

Just wanted to share my story for some advice I’m completely heartbroken.

So me and my boyfriend have been together a year we met last September after him chasing me for a year on and off so I decided to meet him we got on so well and he seemed a nice genuine guy and he was a little older than me at this point I was none the wiser that he was an addict few months past and he wanted to take the relationship further wanted to stay at my house etc then one evening we were talking and he told me he was 7 years clean off heroin from that moment my brain started ticking he would spend a few days at my house then go back to his and go completely off the radar, when we were together the relationship seemed so perfect I felt like he loved me and enjoyed taking me and my kids out it felt like the perfect little family that I always wanted. About 6 months in he started going to drum and bass festivals and on holiday with his friends and found out he would just sit a do cocaine on his own in his flat which I found very odd, after he used to have his binges he would come back to me a few days later and spoil me rotten, 2 weeks ago he left his iPad at my house and I found one night stand dating sites with naked pictures of him on it which showed that he had been on there the whole time we were together and uploaded pictures whilst we were together and I’m not sure why I he felt the need to go on there I’m not ugly and have a good figure I’m kind and loving the man has made me feel worthless and not good enough.

Any advice would be great

[danman83]

Me personally id leave him. If hes done that the whole time you was together. He will never be trusted. Hes obviously off his head at home messaging these girls.

Whats he said?

Me and my partner both cheated years ago. It just eats you up inside. If we didnt have kids we probably would go are own way. We both still bring things up from 5 to 8 year ago. Its not healthy. So my advice is tell yourself: your better than this and move on !

[amylfr]

Thank you for ur reply

He said it was just a bit of fun and he was just curios and he’s now ignored me for days just keeps saying he doesn’t want to argue!

I know I need to move on but it’s just so hard the bloke has completely broken me.

[danman83]

If hes completely broken you. I wouldnt go back hes just going to keep doing it. You need to go out with your mates and try and move on. Does he do it alot after coke, ignoring u for days?

[amylfr]

Yeah pretty much every week!!

We split up 2 months ago for about 7 weeks I was just getting myself back on tracks he saw that I was on a dating site and he messaged me and begged for me to go back told me things were gonna be different but they haven’t they’ve been worse because I’ve just found all this out.

[danman83]

Well your mental if you want to stay with him. Ive got a coke problem. But im using about once a month. But it makes you dissapear for days. I dont because my gf will kill me. But being on that stuff for days is mental. And you do stupid things.

And its a typical story that. He dont want you, but he dont want anyone else to have you and gets back with you.

If you want my honest opinion. If hes not admitting he has a problem and is not prepared to change id leave. But i think you should leave now while you have no kids together. You can do better and you will get better. It just takes time. Spend time with friends and family to forget about him.

[amylfr]

I don’t understand it myself because I’ve never touched the stuff and never would I’m totally baffled about the whole situation, he had a women who loved him and cared yet he’d throw it all always for some dirty prostitutes.

He’s never admitted he’s got a problem and doesn’t think he has. I’ve lost quite a few of my friends because of this as well.

[danman83]

Well he has got a problem. And if was you id block his num and off social media and move on and fast! Yes it will be hard at 1st. But you dont need this shite in your life and you will find some 1 better. 🙂

[chase666]

I agree with Dan, the cocaine is one thing, something that could be worked out if he’s prepared to admit the problem, the cheating and the websites are completely different. He’s probably not going to change that, I’d move on from him. The fact he was a heroin addict and is using cocaine on a regular basis shows me he’s playing with fire anyway, he’s obviously not learned much from getting clean from an opiate addiction.

[amylfr]

I’ve had my suspicions about him still doing heroine the amount of lies he’s sped me for all I know he still does that as well, I’m not very clued up on any of this I know I when he goes to drum and bass festivals he does pills and god knows what else. I just feel like an absolute fool for going back and believing him that he would change.

[amylfr]

It is very hard and ur right I don’t need this shit in my life he’s made me feel like a worthless piece of shit.

Thank you so much for replying to me it’s nice to chat to people who I don’t know about the situation:)

[chase666]

We can’t tell you what to do, luckily though, outside of emotional attachment, you have no further ties. If he’s insistent on lying to you and cheating I’d get rid. If he came to you for help to stop, and you came up with a plan together then I’d say give him a shot, he’s not though, he’s cheating, lying about his addiction and god knows what else. Move on and find someone who respects you.

[danman83]

And heroin is a slippery slope. Id leave him to his own problems.

[amylfr]

I’m not going back not this time not ever, I’m gonna spend time getting myself confidence back and loving myself me moving on and meeting someone else at the moment wouldn’t be fair my head is frazzled I am a wreck

[chase666]

Good for you, focus more on yourself and hobbies for a while, before you know it he will be a distant memory.

[amylfr]

Thank you so much for ur advice

[joblow8446]

Hey there, just wondering Amylfr if there’s an update on this situation? I’m going through the exact same thing right now x

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