[purples85]

Hi, as the title says, this is my first post, a friend recommended I post here.

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, we have 2 children and I have another from a previous relationship. I’ve always known he does coke on a night out, but that’s literally once a year. Last week he brought some coke and said he hasn’t done or because he hasn’t been able to go out, I wasn’t completely happy with that but figured he wanted to get it out of his system. He did it, the next day he felt like shit but he didn’t do anymore. I’ve been suspicious that he’s been doing it in the evenings this week. I’ve had a look around the house and found 2 bags hidden somewhere I would never normally look. I’m furious and sad, I don’t really know how I feel. I’ve called in sick to work later because I think us talking is more important. I want to give him an ultimatum, stop it now or leave. Is that realistic? Can he just stop? If he’s addicted I don’t want him in the house anymore.

I’m feeling awful and all over the place. I don’t know what to think or feel.

Thank you for any advice.

[danman83]

Hiya, hope you are OK. Im 3 month clean from coke today. I’ve been addicted for 11 year or 12. I can go on all day about it but I’ll try and keep it short.

You can be addicted to coke just having it once a month for years. As you still go back to it. Mine was every week. Or every few week. Some times once a month. U don’t have to be using everyday to be an addict.

I’ve tried quitting for the last 5 to 6 years I think. I tried everything. Hypnotist, I’ve cut all my mates off, come off social media, delete dealers numbers. But I finally joined cocaine anonymous in Dec and I’ve been clean since. I’ve never felt happier.

Anyways.. It sounds like he’s gone worse by using it in the house. That’s what happened to me. Is he drinking in the week. Alcohol is the main trigger to get coke. I can have 1 sip and I’m on the phone to my dealer.

Plus he needs to want to quit for himself. You can give him ultimatums but when his addiction kicks in he will go to coke. He needs to want to quit and get a good support network, and get rid of everyone to do with coke in his life. When coke wears off you go on a downer for days feeling depressed and suicidal.

Just have a quiet word with him and see what he says. Feel free to ask me anything

[detachedmoon]

Hey. I’ve just joined this site out of desperation myself. I could have written your post. It’s a horrible realisation when you notice they are taking it often and lying about it. Realising it’s becoming more and more of a problem and harder and harder to come out of. I’ve been with my partner for 8 years. He’s always dabbled a little with coke but it was very rare. Now it’s weekly/monthly. It’s been this way for two years. We have the big talks. I lose my shit a lot when I recognise he’s taken it. I always say don’t come back to the house if you’ve taken it yet he comes home which makes me feel really disrespected honestly. My wishes are if you take that stay away.

I don’t see much effort from him. I think my problem is I’m a soft touch and he doesn’t think I’ll leave or really do anything to change the situation. I give him a choice. He chooses coke. I still stay. I hope your conversation goes better than ours have. Tonight I’ve asked my boyfriend to seek external help. I’m fed up wasting my life waiting for him to put his family and our future first.

I’m sorry I don’t have any helpful advice really as I’m in a very similar situation. But I understand how you must be feeling right now and I’m sorry you’re going through this! I have seen some posts from addicts who have managed to change so maybe all hope isn’t lost yet x

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