[sammyjay137]

Hi, I’m not even sure if I am in the right place! My 30 year old daughter is addicted to cocaine, just found that one out recently. She has drained me of all my money, by lying about other debts etc. I cannot tell any of my family and don’t know what to do.

[danman83]

You are in the right place..so dont worry.

Im the same as your daughter and im doing my best to stop taking cocaine. Its an awful and crafty drug.

If you want her to stop, she has to want to quit herself im afraid. Just make her aware of the dangers for now.

Plus dont give her money if its feeding her habbit. If she needs food for example.. just buy her some. Feel free to ask anything

[sammyjay137]

Thank you so much for replying. SHE HAS CHILDREN, WHO ARE OBVIOUSLY MY GRANDCHILDREN AND MY TOTAL WORLD, SHE ASKS FOR MONEY FOR FOOD, BILLS, ELECTRIC, SHE DOES LOOK AFTER THEM WELL, BUT SHE ALSO HAS BIPOLAR, I DON’T WANT TO RISK HER GOING WITHOUT AND STRESS OUT! Sorry, just realised I’ve been typing in capitals! I’m so angry!! She has stolen over £3000 from me in the last year, and more from my parents. The main issue I have is I have not told anyone, it would kill my parents, but I don’t know how to deal with this. Can I ask, ..will she be ill coming off it. She is using daily, and all I know is it’s £40 per day. Thanks xx

[hox-26]

You are definitely in the right place.

As Danman has said don’t give any more money to your daughter to enable her habit. It is hard but a cocaine addict will manipulate and lie to get what they want.

[sammyjay137]

Thank you. She has/is lying about everything. I’m now broke financially and she is still trying to get money tonight, but says it’s for a school trip. There must be something or somewhere that can stop her?

[danman83]

No there is not any bad withdrawls from what i know. But i could be wrong. She really needs to want to stop though. Are you sure its just cocaine she is having?

Ive just gone to my local drug help place were i live. And i have to go to some meetings. Ask her if she is willing to do that.

[sammyjay137]

she’s drinking alcohol too! I HAVE to say, I think you are amazing, and you MUST be very proud of yourself Hun. And Thank you, for taking the time to answer.

[hox-26]

‘Husband’ would not get ill if he didn’t sniff cocaine, it would just be the comedown. When going out for a drink with certain people he said he would have a line because he was offered it. This he said made him able to carry on drinking long past the ‘non users’.

He would come in not seeming drunk but the following days he would be sleeping it off. He would then be sniffing all the time and blowing his nose. He would have blinding headaches and he couldn’t work on these days. He complained of flu like symptoms and would cough up blood.

Before the abuse of the cocaine which became every day, he didn’t lie to me he was a normal, loving, hardworking man.

Now he is a constant liar and manipulator. Mardy if he doesn’t get what he wants and has left a lot of debt with credit card bills and he owes ‘people’ an awful lot of money.

He is in prison now, has been for nearly a year but that doesn’t stop the bailiffs from knocking at my door. Never his cell door.

I didn’t see this coming as he hid it from me well. But believe me I do not give in to his asking for money to pay ‘such and such’ even though he is inside.

I didn’t enable him by giving him money, but it looks like I enabled him by paying all of our outgoings. I should have made him pay them, that would have made a significant hole in his pocket and he would have had to go to work.

If only I had known what I know now. Don’t enable in any way shape or form.

[sammyjay137]

This is unbelievable!!!! You have just described the last 5yrs of my marriage! I’ve been in a daze to be honest since I read this. My husband was my childhood sweetheart, then ended up permanently disabling me, physically. problem I have is with my daughter, he came into our lives when she was 2yrs old. The latter yrs he changed, didn’t come home drunk, but went missing for days, or hours. I PRESUMED he was having an affair, I kicked off…..he broke nearly every bone in my body! I’ve never known or heard of anyone else having a life like my, and you literally described me!! Thank you, and sending you lots of love, xx

[sammyjay137]

So, after 4 days clean, my daughter gave in, and used again. I didn’t go on at her, I’ve listened to people on here, saying she will do it on her terms, when she is ready. She has been honest with me. To my shock, she has admitted she got it on TIC? Now owes £200 for the past few days. Which she cannot pay, and has had more yesterday from a different person. She has at least 20 phone numbers to get stuff from. I’m not in a position to pay the £200, don’t know what to do, sorry to be a pain,

[hox-26]

That is truly awful what has happened to you in the past and now this to contend with.

If you pay it you will enable her to do it all over again. If she owes money and cannot pay they will stop letting her have it on tick. She will manipulate to get it. It’s an expensive pass time and nothing to gain from it.

Be kind to yourself instead. She will only stop when she wants to or runs out of people to bail her out. Sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind.

[sammyjay137]

I really appreciate you replying. And I’m sorry to pour out my troubles, when you have your own to contend with! thank you xx

[hox-26]

This forum has been my lifeline through some really dark times and I have been helped along the way by lovely people.

We all need someone to ‘talk’ to, people with the same troubles and going through the same emotions. No one else can understand and not judge. We are not alone by a long shot.

Keep strong.

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