[Snowqueen]

Help/advice please.  We are both 70 this year. One is Divorced & the other Widower.  When we met I sold up all my furniture and moved into his house 6 years ago.  He was what I would term as a very heavy drinker.  His drinking binges were increasing.  He’d have two nights off then down a bottle of whisky in one night. 3 years ago I had had enough of his drunken behaviour which had got totally out of hand.  I packed up all my things and rented an apartment, this took almost the last of my savings (very tough divorce financially).  He begged and begged me to come back full of promises etc etc.  So I moved back in.   His drinking is now out of control 1 litre of whisky over two nights, plus maybe a bottle of red or several beers too until the switch goes and he turns from this gentle, lovely, generous, warm person into the most abusive, cruel person.  He never raises his voice, in fact its worse, he speaks in a slow, quiet, menacing tone.  I can no longer financially afford to move out and there is one side of me that says why should I again disrupt my very comfortable life and move into a very moderate rented accommodation just because he chooses to get drunk every day. Then the rational side of me says I can’t put up with this kind of life anymore.  Approaching 70 is not ideal time to restart your life.  What am I to do?  He apologises the next day of course and expects me to just carry on like nothings happened.

[kikis mum]

Hi I would ask the council if you can apply for affordable housing where the rent would be lower and you may qualify for help to pay.  Also tell them about the abusive relationship as they will take this into account when assessing your need to be housed.

I hope you manage to break free.

[Author]

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