[Rachelwatson93]

Where to begin… As far back as I can remember my mum would drink alcohol. Before the age of 10 I cannot remember this but from looking at pics and going by what other people have told me she has drunk before I was born. My mum was 33 when she had me. She has numerous miscarriages and felt overjoyed when she had me. It was a difficult birth and I was in intensive care for a few months. Growing up I had a lot off issues with my hip and underwent a lot of ops. My dad did not like hospitals so my mum would stay but would always leave and come back again (years later she would admit to going out for alcohol). I will always remember the time 20.00 as 8pm as one evening my mum took me out to Asda and must have drunk while there, me being around 10 will always remember the police chasing her on the road and then her crashing into a sign post to which I was play and got taken home to my dad. My mum never drove after this. Throughout primary I always remember mum being drunk. When I was in p5 and at just 10 years old I went home from school and found my mum had slit her wrists and had to call an ambulance. For the next 2 years she was in and out of mental health units. She ran away from home on numerous occasions. My dad finally left my mum when I was 12. They had joint custody of me. I felt safe being at my dad’s but my mum would buy me a d my friends alcohol so I tended to stay there the most. By the age of 13 I had lost my virginity and had slept with quite a few boys. Some being older than 16. Throughout my life she has drank. I had my first 2 children at 19 and qhile looking after them she left them outside and locked them out, lost them at a festival and left them to fend for themselves while I was at work. My mum had bipolar and struggled due to being abused when she was young

I lost my mum on the 23rd October this year. She had been sober for 3 months. But had broken her leg and ended up with sepsis. I feel a relief in a way as I now no longer need to worry about her. When. Will the grief start? I hardly feel any sadness at the moment. Thanks for reading Rachel x

 

[thistim3]

Hi Rachel.  So sorry for the loss of your mother.  I also wonder that. My mother died over 9 years ago.  I love her, and hope she is in a good place. I always wanted good for her.  We did not have any relationship for about 8 years before she died, then she became very ill and lingered for months. She wanted myself and my siblings to come to her bedside, but I couldn’t and didn’t.  Another of my siblings also did not.  I still feel that I made the right choice for myself.  My mother was a mean drunk.  She had her reasons for being miserable, but none of them seemed worth all that misery.  My siblings and I survived her madness, but unfortunately the relationships that I have with my siblings have suffered.  I guess there has to be some, (what is the word?) dysfunction when being raised during so much emotional distress on a daily basis.  All my siblings and I are successful, but have struggled in many ways with our personal relationships between ourselves and our own families (I am married to an addict).  But, I feel that I lost my mother years before she died. I had already lost and grieved her during those so difficult living years.  It still surprises me that she lived as long as she did (78), as I expected her to drink herself to death years before. My she rest in peace, finally free from the grip of alcoholism.

[natasha21]

Oh bless both of you,my heart goes out to you both,having your childhood ruined by alcohol and a parent who just can’t say no. Well my story ive been to my beautiful, funny 52 year old cousins funeral today.And thanks to alcohol which caused liver failure 3 weeks ago, apparently she was told 2 years ago by the doctor to stop drinking but I guess she thought it would never happen to her.im very spiritual and believe I the afterlife and angels exactly the same as she did so I don’t tend to cry at funerals.But today I sobbed like a baby,watching my uncles and cousins carry her in,watching my mom who’s 78, checking on her baby brother ( who’s in his late 60s but my cousins dad) watching her son come back from Australia travelling and reading his memories and sobbing.just heart breaking, too many families grieving because of alcohol xxx

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