It’s difficult to read your very sad story. I really hope that you have family and friends who are able to give you help and support to pick up the pieces. If you feel that it would be helpful to talk with people who would understand please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity there to support people like yourself dealing with a loved one’s addiction.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the very best.