[doing-the-best-that-i-can]

I cannot believe that I am writing this but recognise that the situation we are in could potentially be a cathartic finale. I want to post in as direct a way possible and hope you can help. I want to help my daughter but she doesn’t want it I don’t want her to be on a path of self destruction, I want my Beauty to tame her Beast, because I don’t believe that she is this person the alcohol is the controller, please tell me if my gut instinct is wrong. This is a very condensed version but I need advice now to pull her from the precipice and think it is tough love but has to be done.

o King
I have no idea of the cost of these things so don’t want to say how much will 20 quid buy me and look like a fanny, its for Colin he died last Friday and final tribute so important to do it but trying to keep hold of the purse strings xxxxx Having a traumatic time with Camille at the mo, trying to run the business, going to sort Steve’s Dad out it causing ructions with her and I suspect she has an alcohol problem and she fucking hates me seriously, can live with that cos I am doing the right thing but very very tough emotionally to give tough love for the preservation of an 84 year old man who she is taking the piss out of big time and disrespecting his home and I have had enough and doing something about it and she is not the priority when it comes to her grandads welfare, the guy she has been seeing has fucked with her head, she is trying to fuck with mine to destroy me so that she can get her own way and not have me in the house shocked to my core because I only just found out that my Beauty has a Beast, I am strong cos my conscience clear but she not acknowledging at all that she may have a problem and is just attacking me, won’t speak to me etc etc and I don’t know how to help her because she is hating so much fucking nightmare babe xxxxxx

7:11am
Deb
Most flower tributes start at around 60quid babe. 20 would get you nice plant or something,maybe you could do card… all flowers if they are at a crem get binned after 3 days, but the cards go to the family as a keepsake.other place to try is the florist in weston favell the one downstairs they always have great flowers there.
What on earth is going on with Camille.always thought she had her head on straight…..She will find herself in deep shit soon babe, if her drinking starts to effect her job, does she need to live with Steves dad, could he manage on his own? maybe if she was having to pay rent etc, she wouldn’t be able to spend so much on drink?
What does Steve say about it, would she listen to him he he read her the riot act?
Life! eh Jo? what the fucks it all about,? Things have got so bad here with the 3 of us. Stephen IS leaving and going to live in Cornwall.so is Joy. the rows have been awful, once I start I just can’t stop stuff coming out of my mouth that I instantly regret, my eyes and my jaw are so sore from crying, which is pretty much all i’m doing.. Last night Stephen and I went out, he still holds my hand, whats that all about? he was talking over the stuff we had done in the past, all the good times… I just wanted to scream at him to shut up cos they are gone and he doesn’t want me anymore…so don’t be nice.. as you say babe fucking nightmare xxx

7:22am
Jo
She the viper who thinks she got the victim because of what she thinks are my weaknesses me the snake catcher with a fucking big machete and she getting the shock of her life because I will not engage on any shit she wants to drag up and she doesn’t like it, she got her own problems and after sending her latest message, Steve is about to tell her to fucking deal with it or fuck off. She rent free for 5 years treats his house like a pig sty wont get in touch with him to let her know she is alright knowing that he worries himself to death, didn’t see it coming from her to be honest babe but she hit a brick wall with me and is doing everything to try to destroy me because she thinks I am so insecure about myself that I will start blaming myself and become depressed while she continues being a little cunt (i never thought i would have said it of my own daughter)

7:52am
Deb
Blimey Jo….. you have to stay calm, you are in a good place with your life right now and things are going from strength to strength for you, you have a husband that supports everything you do and loves you to bits stay strong babe xx

7:56am
Jo
I don’t know what to say to you to help u apart from think things thru and try not to engage easier said than done I know, for me if its the end its the end she has to take responsibility for her own actions for the 1st time ever cos we not here to sweep it up for her any longer, she doesn’t want help because she is in denial, I think she has had a drink problem for many years and displays the same aggressive tendencies that her dad does when he drinks too much, I think her drink dependency is why she is being like this and also being unsuccessful in relationships and the recent twat of a controlling boyfriend has made her display the same cruelty towards me that was inflicted on her, she has turned into a liar, a wastrel and could teach Waynetta Slob a thing or two. Her grandad is 84 years old it is disgusting xxxx

7:58am
Jo
Hurting inside but strong as a fucking ox xxxx

8:11am
Deb
Hold on to that babe….stay strong.. She must really be as far away from her grandad as possible, at that age things can really effect them, hard as it it, short sharp shock might be for the best, will make you feel like shit, but might bring her to her senses, what does Lewis have to say about it all?xx

8:21am
Jo
Not involving him he is another stress head and doesn’t like confrontation he getting his life back on track and I wont make him piggy in the middle cos he loves his sister so she keeps hinting that she speaks to him a lot, Steve sent Lewis a message last night just saying ‘ don’t want to gossip just want to know if you are ok’ Lewis said he is fine and he doesn’t want to gossip either, it’s her mess and she is manipulative and she needs Lewis to be on her side, whatever problems he may have then he can talk about it if he wants, in previous times I would have been asking questions and trying to justify my argument to make me feel better about myself, just adds to the pot of resentment if people are negative. Whichever way he jumps which I doubt he will but we will see nothing will deviate me from making sure that things are right for Steve’s Dad because it is the right thing to do, I would love to show Lewis the stuff she been saying about he will be truly shocked when he sees my responses and that may cause damage to their relationship and she needs to have someone to fall back on while she treads her path of self destruction

[doing-the-best-that-i-can]

The names are fictitious to protect my family who would be very shocked that I am doing this and I don’t want to bring shame on them but I don’t think that we are experienced enough to deal with this and my girl needs professional help

[doing-the-best-that-i-can]

She works for a charity for gods sake I know she is not evil it is the drink doing this and I know I’ve got to fix it but it is so hard being the strong one and carrying on with everyday life because we have to survive, it is a long time since I have felt such despair to know that I have to let my daughter go and not know if she will make it safe through the other end.

[doing-the-best-that-i-can]

I will not engage from the latest hate attack by text, I have advised her the numbers to help her and respectfully asked her to think about it for her issues with me, I have also advised her that I am currently receiving advice and support – I will not engage she had to take responsibility for her own actions I cannot make her do anything that she doesn’t want to do, I cannot bully her, I cannot be aggressive towards her – I am asserting myself and taking control of my life and protecting my family too

[doing-the-best-that-i-can]

More accusations, I repeated my advice on counselling, I told her that she is not the beast the alcohol and issues are I hope she sees

[doing-the-best-that-i-can]

No she doesn’t and neither does my son who hardly drinks have to accept it and get on, things start dying inside u slowly don’t they but I will draw strength from adversity

[doing-the-best-that-i-can]

How can I tell you son that for all the thoughts hatred that you have don’t turn your back on your granddad, the man who saw his daughter in law struggling with her walking stick at the shops and came and carried her bag for her and let her hold his arm and walk slowly back to the car, the man who had two portions of cottage pie and loved every mouthful, the man who stood and did the washing up because I had cooked, the man who liked being in his house and felt comfortable in his living room with his dated furniture surrounded by his memories feeling relaxed because all the shit that had been left around the living room by your sister had been removed and put into a bag for your sister to take care of, your sister who is denying she has an alcohol problem and is convincing you that the fault lies with me and your dad, I am not telling lies I am not telling lies I am not telling lies

[doing-the-best-that-i-can]

Amidst all of this chaos here I sit sobbing away to Tammy Wynette’s no charge but I am also smiling because I know the pair of them would piss themselves laughing at it, am I offended by this thought, no not at all it shows that we can still laugh if it is only to be memories then so be it

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